Friday, December 12, 2003

Where do they come from? When will they come here?

Ok, so I'm fascinated and delighted to learn that there is a Streakers Hall Of Fame website. This is exactly the kind of thing Al Gore was imagining when he invented the Internet.

This story is especially fun -

Colo. streaker just wanted to meet women
By The Associated Press
"DENVER -- A streaker who raced across Coors Field during a Colorado Rockies game apologized Tuesday, saying he thought the prank would be a good way to meet women. During a court appearance, Darren Kennedy, 30, pleaded no contest to disturbing the peace, trespassing and unlawful public indecency, all misdemeanors. Kennedy, whose hometown was not available, was fined $500 and received a suspended 30-day jail sentence. The judge said Kennedy must stay out of trouble for a year. "I've been looking for this girl to share my world," Kennedy told the judge. "I thought it would be a good idea, what I did. I know it's kind of wild. I'm sorry." During the third inning of the Rockies game against the Cincinnati Reds Monday night, Kennedy jumped onto the field, pulled off his clothes and ran across the outfield in near-freezing weather. The Rockies, who were on the field, burst into laughter. Police tackled Kennedy and took him into custody."

This isn't news to anyone, but this site also does a lot to show just how much cooler everywhere is that the Good Ol' U.S.A. For one thing, while on any other subject, the wealth of information would lean towards American events, hell, even on a U.K. site like that is.

Nope, not streaking. The U.S. is way behind the rest of the developed world in prominent streaking activity! We must rise to this occasion, my countrymen. We can not allow ourselves to be topped!

This isn't something no one cares about, like soccer, it's streaking!

Not only that, but other countries have what seems to be an almost even, and very healthy mix of men and women streaking, while in the U.S., it's a male dominated activity. This can't be good for the youth. Young girls will have no role models to aspire to. No great American Streakers who look like them.

They'll be sitting there by their TVs, thinking, "I'd like to do that but my butt isn't hairy and I don't have a ball sac that slaps against my belly button."

We simply can't allow this to happen! Our nation's women must drop trou and hit the stadium fields and city parks with reckless abandon.

America must join the rest of the free world in all recreational activities, except soccer, which we covered no one cares about, unless maybe it's naked soccer.

As to American boys, well, keep up the adequate work. Once the womenfolk catch up, we'll be about on par with the rest of the world and we can ratchet it up a bit as need be.

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