Sunday, December 12, 2004

All the kids in girl and boy land?

Lyrics sites suck serious ass. I'm sure you, the Net hip audience reading this have discovered this already.

Earlier today, my mother and I were idly singing "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" and both seemed to brain fart over the line that follows, "All the kids in girl and boy land will have a jubilee..."

Now, we were able in the kajillion times we heard the song, decipher these relatively simple lyrics, but were simply unable to remember them.

So, a quick Google search led me to several things. The first hit was a version of the lyrics, supposedly as sung by Hilary Duff. They site this couplet as "The boys and girls in toyland will have a new physique. They're gonna build a toy land all around the Christmas Tree."

Now, perhaps I could assume that Ms. Duff has some nouveau lyrics for a new fitness conscious generation, except the second hit also purports to report the lyrics as she sang them, and they are listed as "The kids and girls in boyland will have what you believe. They're gonna build a toy land all around the Christmas Tree."

That's not even nouveau, that's just madness!

But it continues to get better. The third site reports the lyrics supposedly sung by George Strait, who apparently sang the song for some kind of gay Christmas porno, because he, according to the site, sings "The kids and girl and boy land will have a jubilee. They're gonna fill the toy lad all around with Christmas trees."

Oh, I'm gonna fill The Toy Lad, I tell you what. With what, you ask. Well, with Christmas trees. You know, Christmas trees. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.

(There are other grammatic problems unrelated to the incorrect lyrics in each of these examples that I have corrected for clarity. Most notably, not one of them used the proper contracted form of "they are". "They" would be the correct pronoun to use in reference to apparent antecedent, "the kids in girl and boyland" - or whatever bizarre group of youths referred to in the lyrics as thoroughly transcribed. "Are" is the correct form of the verb "to be" for the third person plural pronoun. They join up to form the passive sentence "they are going to build a toyland...")

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