Saturday, April 23, 2005

Attack of the Clones

Look, I know, it's cool to be dissin' on Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones. It makes you feel all big inside.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace was disappointing. If not at first for some, like myself, who felt so excited to be seeing new places and events in the Star Wars Universe that it was exciting in itself. It's real sin, though, is one it's rarely accused of. It's pretty dull.

No, really. Is Jar-Jar lame? Is some of the plotline hokey? Well, sure. But if the movie wasn't a rather leaden story about politics, no one would care. It really is still better than Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi, no matter how hard people fight with their nostalgic glow of how they felt seeing it and their intellectualizations of how good the ideas in it are.

It's a movie with a crucial plotline about unblinking teddy bears, it leaves the most dynamic character from the preceding two movies, one of the great masculine rogues of film history, with no personality or testicles at all, and it repeats the ending of the first movie beat for beat. You can believe in your heart that Jedi doesn't suck. It makes life a little easier. C'mon, Star Wars is the mythology of my youth, too, but in all fact, it's a very poorly put together film.

Attack Of The Clones, however, soars with fun. Sure, it clunks a time or two. The romance doesn't work as well as it maybe should, although better than it's reputation would suggest. The acting hold together most of the dialogue, as in all the films.

Ultimately, I love Star Wars for being a place where people get chained to posts in a giant coliseum to be executed. That is the Universe I fell in love with when I was 6 years old at the UA 150.

The music as it swoops up around and through the characters throughout only cements that. This is what I came for. You can keep that in mind when I write my review of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith. That's where I'm coming to this from. We may not agree.

And I did rent Star Wars: Clone Wars vol. 1 from Broadway Market Video and started it, but I got really tired. So far, I must say, it is very cool. I think I'm going to like volume 2 better, though.

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