Monday, May 02, 2005

Encounters on the street


A homeless woman was sitting on the sidewalk and looked up at me with sad eyes and a humble voice and said, "Do you have any tape?"

Tape? I'm a guy. I was wearing painter pants, so, I guess if I'd been wearing them... err... properly, I might have stashed some masking tape somewhere, but even then I'm not sure exactly where.

Tape? Alright. I really wish I could've helped. Not so much out of my benevolence of spirit, but just to satisfy my own curiousity as to what its purpose was to be.

Then I'm at a convenience store, so just off the street, and this guy takes out this little wallet thing he's made with snaps and little copper bits of whatnot and explains that he sells them for like $2-3 and it's really easy and whatever. Then he goes on to explain that he gives them to girls, who, according to the story, then happily provide him with, y'know, it.

Who are these chicks? Most of my life I've had standards, but the handful of times I would certainly not have, all the chicks I came in contact with did, so... I dunno. Overall, at this point, I'm glad I don't have some string of chicks who fucked me for $3 trinkets, but I guess the little ghost of a horny youth can't help calling up from the darkness of my psyche wondering where these chicks were in his day.

Now, I'm walking past the Dick's Drive-In on Broadway and there's a guy aimlessly wandering about the parking lot. Then he walks up to me and asks where the Taco Bell is. I pointed him the way, he was at least five blocks short of his destination.

As I'm walking off I thought, "Was I just talking to Seattle's one and only hip-hop tourist?"

"Dude, I'm at the burger stand, so now where does one get the Mexican eatin' around here then?"

Interestingly - well, not really, but I'll pretend, 'cos I'm all about the babbling - one needs to pass Dick's to get to the Taco Bell, if you're starting from 23rd and Jackson and then, well, "go back the other way." It's not really a big deal, of course, if you're rolling in your black Benz limo, but if you're a weird tourist on foot, it's actually a ways... I guess it could be a problem.

I'm sure he's just dumb and not the kind of extraordinarily weird and out-of-date like in my fantasy, but I'm sticking to my version.


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