Friday, September 22, 2006

Geek Pride

I gave a half-apology for a potential half-sleight of non-Movie Geek movie fans.

I'm thinking seriously of retracting even that half.

I've spent most of my life watching movies, reading books on movies, studying what movies I should look for. This is hours a day for years, decades even. There are indeed days when I'm introduced to people who are big movie fans and it feels almost like how it must feel to be a lawyer being introduced to someone who loves John Grisham novels.

Yes, I know. It's more complicated than that. Most people consider themselves "movie fans" on some level. Movie watching is a form of entertainment. I've spent an unreasonable number of man hours doing something fun, so how am I better than some guy who considers himself a master of receiving blowjobs?

Eh. Maybe I'm not.

I know I don't make a better living because of it at this point. The only thing I get is some measure of personal satisfaction, learning more about the thing I love and the hope of finding a productive use for it in the future.

I don't even mean to be arrogant. There are people out there who dedicate themselves to important things like charity, education and making better coffee roasts. How can I compare my absurd geekery to those things?

I also know that there are guys out there who are to me what I am to that movie fan guy. I run into them occasionally in the world and almost every day on the Mobius Home Video Forum and various blogs. There's an incredible divide in the amount of dedication and effort to get to each of the levels and I respect that.

But I guess I also take a certain pride in where I've gotten and the effort it's taken me. Maybe that pride - occasionally even arrogance - is all I've accomplished. I certainly don't want people to stop talking to me about movies, even if sometimes this all winds up in weird problems where I make casual reference to movies I don't find a bit obscure and watch when people's eyes glaze over. I'm certainly not able to ignore a movie conversation taking place around me. Not to show off. I just love movies, that's why I've put in all of this effort in the first place.

I suppose I never really had a specific enough question to answer with this, but I'm feeling a bit defensive and needed to put this out there somehow.

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