Thursday, February 15, 2007

Open letter to pretentious Seattle nitwits

How many of your buildings really has a concierge rather than a doorman? Seriously.

You don't make yourself sound classier or ritzier or whatever you expect it makes you sound. It makes you sound desperate and bourgeois. People in real, grown-up cities call them doormen, stop making our city sound like losers.

I mean, really. It's not like it's not fine to call someone who is a concierge, a doorman, certainly not when you're referring specifically in terms of their duty to attend the door to your building.

Put it this way, Prince can, and does, play a lot of instruments, so he can be referred to as a "multi-instumentalist". Since one of them is the guitar, though, it's always ok to call him a guitarist, especially referring to songs and performances in which he's playing the guitar.

But those of you attached to this are probably too attached to it to listen to me. The best I can do is to say, whenever it's in my power to do so - which it often is - I gave pizza to people who say "doorman" for free. I have never, ever done so for someone who referred to their "concierge. Do with that as you will.

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