Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Morning radio

Through no fault of my own, I was stuck listening to KISS FM, which alleges itself to play "Today's hottest music".

The music they play is pretty crappy, but frankly that's neither here nor there. I could certainly spend my morning listening to moderately crappy music just to be polite. Frankly, even that is preferable to silence in a lot of circumstances.

But they, of course, play almost no crappy music. Instead they talk.

I don't have the slightest idea how anyone can tolerate people jabbering on in that radio, no dead air, way in the morning. I'm not sure I could listen to anyone no matter how smart, interesting, funny they might be doing that in the morning. I'm just really, really not a morning person and hearing constant talk in the morning literally gives me a headache.

But then this is not smart, interesting or funny.

At all.

This is, according to their website, Jackie and Bender.

Wherever you are and whatever you listen to, however, you know the schtick. It's a man and a woman. She treats him like a moron, he gamely plays along in an easy-going and self-effacingly defensive manner.

Today they were going over a the list of 25 Skills Every Man Should Know - Shouldn't that be "25 Skills Every Man Should Have? - with a guest and comparing which the guest could do and which the co-host could do. Not quickly, mind you, but this went on forever.

What pisses me off, however, isn't that they're stupid.

Hell, they're making a better living than me by having conversations so banal I wouldn't eavesdrop on them on a long bus ride. That must require some kind of skill.

No, it pisses me off that I suspect they're actually smarter than their conversation and are having a conversation at the moron level because they - or at least their bosses - assume we are as stupid as this conversation, and they are condescending to us, lowering the bar of human interaction to something actually below the lowest common denominator, so that we poor drones can be amused.

Then I just become depressed realizing that our society has enough people who are exactly that stupid that show after show runs on station after station in city after city across this nation of ours, and I wonder if we're worth saving at all...


Bob Turnbull said...

What a coincidence Neil...We have a wild and wacky "Perfect Music Mix" (you know - not too hard, no too soft...) morning team on Toronto radio as well! Though I expect our show is TOTALLY different cause their names are Mad Dog and Billie (yes, that's "ie" at the end of Billie because she's a woman). Instead of that silly 25 things a guy should know list, their web site says that yesterday they had a segment called "One Minute Inside A Woman's Head". Outrageous!!

OK, I have to sit down now...I'm feeling nauseous...I can't even feign interest in these type of morning shows with their black and white assessments of men and women (guys like football, cars and power tools while girls like jewelry, chick flicks and hate math) and safe taste in entertainment.


Neil Sarver said...

The evil has spread beyond our borders. Dammit all!

What's weird to me is that I listen to these - and, as noted, I am forced to listen to them specifically at a time when I'm least receptive to people talking. But I seriously don't even get the humor of this.

Like with something like Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo, I don't think it's funny, but I do actually get what the joke is. With things like this I'm just dumbfounded by it.

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