Saturday, December 01, 2007

Definite articles are for the weak!

I don't know if I've used this forum for griping about my homeland's absurd and misleading obsession with definite articles. It's so horribly burned into people at such a deep cultural level that even otherwise intelligent people can't comprehend why I find the random addition of them to otherwise decent titles obnoxious.

But since Watchmen by Marty Langford just made a reference to the issue, I'm going to go off again.

What's the problem with the title The Shawshank Redemption? Sure, removing "Rita Hayworth" from the title of Stephen King's novella, "Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption", makes it less evocative, but I understand the commercial reasons they thought it was a good idea. But what's that "The" doing there and what the hell's it supposed to mean?

And how about The Ring? It isn't enough that it forced everyone to imagine that the original movie by Hideo Nakata, and arguably the novel by Koji Suzuki, are named a word that doesn't exist in English or Japanese, "Ringu", but it strips the depth of the English word's meaning that undoubtedly made it appealing to Suzuki over any number of Japanese words which would be synonymous with any single definition of the English word.

Fuck! I hate randomly inserted "Thes" to appease American taste for nothing left hanging without definition. The people behind these titles are idiots and they not only think we're idiots, they know we're idiots.

Words have meaning! Adding one to a title alters the meaning. Yes, even articles... and, yes, even indefinite articles. Don't get me started...

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