Thursday, November 13, 2008


I'm not sure there's any good reason to review a movie like Tarzana, the Wild Girl, and yet I feel compelled to do so anyhow.

Now, it succeed moderately at being a movie about a topless jungle girl, which ought to have been enough, but somehow isn't.

For one thing, it's not really about Tarzana. I mean, it's about her in much the same way Raiders of the Lost Ark is about the Ark of the Covenant. As a character, she's content to frolic like a topless Disney princess with her jungle animal friends.

And somehow the Tarzan of the Apes "inspired" story of a quest to find the lost granddaughter of Lord Donovan, who lost his son and heir in a plane crash in Africa two decades prior to our story's begining, plays more awkwardly in a story that is clearly made long after the British Empire and its standing has any relevence.

I say all of this, I can tell it's ludicrous to spend so much time concerned over the plot of a topless jungle girl movie, and yet there's the problem, the movie itself is terribly concerned over these issues. It's not content to be goofy or sleazy. Even the gratuitous scene in which Tarzana jumps into a pool for thirty seconds for seemingly no reason, only leads to a shot of her emerging from behind.

Not that it doesn't have moments of pure sleaze, the obviously homosexual villain's henchman watches as Doris, the leader of our quest, changes into her pajamas, and a final confrontation between Doris and Tarzana that comes close to making the entire movie worthwhile.

Frankly, the movie needed more action, which it clearly lacked the budget to excecute, so ultimately, without being a sex movie, it had little more to do than tell an antiquated and not especially interesting story and try to pepper it with a lot of casual nudity, and as big a fan as I am of casual nudity, it's not quite enough to keep the movie interesting over its full running time.

At least for me. Perhaps I'm too picky... but I kinda doubt it.

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