I only saw My Bloody Valentine 3-D because it's in 3-D.
There's a new 3-D trend and I've failed in my 3-D-lovers need to support it, even with movies like Journey to the Center of the Earth and Bolt that I had some interest in. I'm sorry. I kind of suck. No, I don't suck enough to skip Coraline, and neither should you!
Nevertheless, I didn't go with tremendous enthusiasm. Mind you, I was encouraged after reading My Bloody Valentine 3-D Review - Harry Warden Is Bloodier Than Ever by Stacie Ponder, she of Final Girl fame (or infamy), but still skeptical... I'm sorry, Stacie, I'll try to remember to trust you more in the future.
No, for real, this movie is pretty darn good.
Now, I know it's getting bonus points for being in 3-D.
And I know it's getting bonus points for not totally sucking. I'll have to see it again someday to be entirely sure how many points that was, but I'm inclined to think it's not very many at all.
Yes, I'm saying that a 3-D slasher movie remake, released in 2009 is actually pretty darn good on its own merits. No one is more surprised than me.
But this movie actually does very few of the things that make old fart horror geeks like me bitch. It focuses on the score and has little - if any - in the way of popular songs inserted into it. If there is one in there, it was subtle and tasteful enough that it passed me by. It also has only a couple of obvious, cheesy CGI moments, although one of those is pretty darn painful with crappy CGI blood squirting out in 3-D.
And it does do almost all of the things that make old fart movie geeks like me swoon. Not only casting terrific old character actors like Tom Atkins and Kevin Tighe, but actually utilizing them as actors with characters and not as cheap cameos. It builds some scenes of genuine suspense slowly, not relying wholly on cheap shocks.
It also has real characters all around and not just cardboard puppets thrown up for the killer to execute. For real. Not Chekhov, mind you, but certainly better and more believable than the ones in Cloverfield, and that movie actually got some serious buzz.
And, yes, there is a long scene with Betsy Rue completely naked. No, not topless. Enough to make one forget the 3-D cameltoe that Megan Boone displayed earlier (although, apparently, for some of us, not forget forever).
I know, there are tons of people out there sure that full-frontal female nudity is relatively common, but when confronted to name the last "R" rated commercial feature that included it, they stammer and fail to produce anything since 1992. As I've said, since the mid-'80s, full-frontal male and female nudity in commercial movies is approximately as common as one another, which, yes, means both are ridiculously rare, and both lacks are problems that we, as a decent and liberated society, should be working to fix.
But frankly, even I, as a staunch supporter of nudity who thinks nudity should be an expected part of being a professional actor, has to give credit to Ms. Rue and her extended and fearless naked performance, and a damn good performance at that. Kudos!
Well, I don't want to go too far. Perhaps I need to step back and see it again on DVD with a little more distance and surprise before I make a complete ass of myself, but I'll say if you're sitting on the fence, wanting to see this for the 3-D or the slashey goodness but are worried that it's going to be horrible like all of the other slasher movies of the last decade, well, then take this as your green light.
I mentioned the word remake, and this has inspired a DVD re-release of My Bloody Valentine. In fact, I'm told a restored version with several minutes of restored footage.
I would be happily providing some commentary on this. The restored movie. The movie from recent, and not decades old, memory.
But for some reason I don't understand, Netflix has this in my saved queue with no release date, despite the DVD already being available.'
My desire to re-watch and write up this movie is not strong enough for me to seek out a rental or purchase from a brick and mortar store. So, perhaps someday Netflix will get up-to-date and I'll follow-up on My Bloody Valentine in classic, glorious two-dimensions.