Friday, May 08, 2009

I hate the rating system

I was surfing around the very entertaining Topless Robot, and came across The 8 PG-Rated Movies That Should Not Have Been Rated PG by Brian Hanson.

This just reminds me why I hate the MPAA and I want all these young kids to get off my lawn.

I'll confess, the "PG-13" was introduced in 1984, when I was... 13. So it seemed like it was awesome. The idea that "PG" movies might be able to be a little "bolder" or less bold "R" movies might creep down so I could see them in the theater... without the trouble of sneaking in, since I hadn't yet learned that in those days, no one cared how old you were when they sold a ticket. Not hardly anyone. Not only teenage ticket sellers.

Not one single ticket selling soul.

Ultimately, it has proved to be the slow death of cinema, quite honestly, so I apologize to the movie going public for my former support.

But seriously. Every single one of those movies should be "PG"! That's fucking exactly what the "PG" rating was designed for. Back before the "PG-13" squeezed in there and turned everyone's brain into an even doughier paste than it had been.

Beetlejuice! Get off my lawn!

I grew up in a world where Planet of the Apes could provide you with murder, mayhem, injury, blasphemy, gun-totin' gorillas and three full minutes of bare-naked Heston ass while remaining rated... "G".

Don't get me started on The Beastmaster and Sheena... Oh, Tanya Roberts, glorious queen of "PG" toplessness!

What was I talking about? Get off my lawn!

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

This world where "G" barely exists, "PG" means what "G" used to. "PG-13" means what "PG" used to, except strangely perhaps even wussier.

Raiders of the Lost Ark? We used to stack fucks like you five feet high!

Ok, that last part is a lie, but seriously.

Where's the part where parents were supposed to actually pay a little bit of goddamn attention for themselves what their kids were seeing and that the MPAA ratings were a guideline.

"Hey, kids can handle Heston ass. Come on. Ok, Tanya's boobs? We'll let parents know there's some reason they should do some research..."

Seriously, these parents who freaked out about Gremlins being "PG"... They weren't right! They were bad parents! Lazy fuckwits who demand other people do their job for them. They shouldn't be catered to, they should have their kids sent to foster homes.


7 comments:

Phantom of Pulp said...

Splendid post.

If, as a parent, you are relying on movie ratings to raise your children, you should have considered abortion.

Either way, the kid loses.

Moviezzz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neil Sarver said...

Thanks to both of you for your comments.

It seems some people really believe that responsible parenting is making sure other people take responsibility for the proper care of their children and ensuring that those other people use their value system as a guide. This is inherently irresponsible and the caving in to this attitude has had a sickening effect on society as a whole.

"PG" is supposed to suggest "parental guidance".

Karl said...

Kids these days are pretty smart. There should always be parental guidence with kids. Only thses days parents are too lazy and want someone else to do that. I can go on, but I won't.

Neil Sarver said...

Karl, thanks. Agreed.

People should watch more with their kids.

Realistically, as much as one may wish otherwise, there's no way a kid won't see something, whether sexual or violent or whatever of a type that one would prefer they didn't, but the key is to have raised them in a way that gives them a context within which to place that.

Since it's Mother's Day, I'll say that was one of the things I think my mom did well. I'm sure that at various points in there, she'd have been horrified to find out the things I found ways to see. But she raised me in a such a way that I had that context. It wasn't that I was never horrified or aroused in ways I wasn't prepared for, but I had a frame of reference to process these things.

And, yes, it's a lot of work and commitment. That's why I'm not doing myself, but it's also the reason the people who take on the proper levels of responsibility and do it right have my absolute undying respect.

Lemmy Caution said...

Especially with the Internet, Dvd, On Demand, Cable, etc. etc. etc.....the rating system has become more and more useless as years go by.

So you can keep Jr. out of the cinema without an ID? Doesn't mean he won't see the uncut version a week from now at home anyway.

The MPAA is useless.

Neil Sarver said...

Oh, I completely agree. And yet there certainly are plenty of people who more than ever believe other people - whether the government, some big corporation or, in this case, some body controlled by several big corporations - should be responsible for their children.

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