Tuesday, May 05, 2009

My name


I've been working for twenty-some years at this point. I'm still not very good at. I've tried any number of things in that time, and occasionally had some modest successes, here and there. I'm good at some things. I'm good at knowing the answer to a question. I'm reliable.

I've spent a good amount of it in customer service, which is particularly problematic for me.

And I think I've figured out the problem.

The goddamn golden rule.

I know. That sounds wrong, doesn't it?

But basically, I'm a nice, decent, caring guy. Seriously.

And because of that, I treat people the way I want to be treated in customer service situations. Friendly, but businesslike.

I don't like when customer service people make small talk with me. Piss off. What does that have to do with anything?

Of course, other people like that. I'm not sure why.

I don't spout off tons of bullshit along with the answer to a question. I don't want that. It just smells up the place.

I give simple, direct, honest answers. When I ask questions, that's what I want.

But mostly... and this will probably be the one that will sound most trivial and the one everyone will claim to agree with but most people will be lying when the do... I don't call anyone by name more than the once it takes for reasonable people to establish the identity of the person they are speaking to.

If we don't know each other, and you say my name even twice in a single conversation, I will never, ever like, trust or respect you. Honestly. Your reputation in my mind will literally never recover.

I will assume you belong to a horrible religion that eats live babies and burns down orphanages. Ok, not those, not so literally, but I will assume that you

Most people, even most other who claim to not like it, will melt like butter. "Oh, listen, it's my new best friend talking to me. I bet he's going to take me to a ball game and we'll get ice cream and programs and it'll be neato!"

I not only don't melt like butter, I have no comprehension whatsoever why it makes other people feel that way.

I'm unsure where I'm going with this or what any of it means to my life, but I felt the need to vent it.

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