Saturday, June 27, 2009

A parable of sorts


Let's imagine there's this very successful and popular musician. It's tough, I know, in this society to imagine such a thing, but try to stay with me.

Now, imagine your wife or husband or long-term boyfriend or girlfriend... If you don't have any of those, try to put your mind back to a time when you did. So, this person is, to some degree or another, able to cope, or make some kind of attempt to cope, with an intimate adult relationship. They're a grown-up and even if they fail miserably, they're ready to try, they know what it involves and want to achieve it on some level.

It's worth mentioning here, I'm not speaking of sexual or physical intimacy. In fact, I'm specifically speaking of all the other parts of it.

So, this very successful and popular musician invites you to their home and says they want your significant other to come and stay with them for an extended period of time. Your partner will be their constant companion, will talk, do special activities and sleep in the same bed. For whatever reason, you are definitely convinced that there won't be any actual hanky panky. This thing won't touch that thing and nothing at all will touch that other thing.

Yeah, that last part probably takes a bit of imagining, I'm sure, but try to live it for the moment. You've been convinced by the two of them that there's no way that could happen.

Ok, now even if you imagine that, how much more comfortable with this are you?

(Honestly, and it doesn't help my little parable much, but I think I'd have an easier time with it if she just went backstage, sucked the guy off and came back home to do all of that other stuff with me.)

All of that behavior is the structure of an intimate adult relationship.

The reinvigorated debate over whether Michael Jackson did or didn't do this or that with this or that kind misses the most essential point, which we can all actually answer without even trying.

Perhaps in a court of law, it matters whether this thing touched that thing and nothing at all will touched that other thing, but the relationships themselves were indisputably wrong regardless of that.

4 comments:

Wade said...

Hey there, here' my Michael Jackson story for what it's worth. When I first moved to California, I worked at Disneyland for two years. MJ came to the park twice while I worked there, but I never got a glimpse of him. There's a "secret" apartment on Main Street, a place Walt used to stay during the theme park's construction. During the 80s and 90s, Michael would sometimes stay in this apartment. And it creeps me out when I pitcure the "King of Pop" peeping through the Main Street shutters, watching the kids go by...

Wade said...

But that's not the story. This is:

In 1995 I was working at this place called the Nature Company (next to Universal Studios CityWalk). One night, after we closed the shopw, Michael Jackson's entourage came into the store. He walked around for about 20 minutes. Two boys and three girls were with him (ages 13 - 16), and of course body guards and assistants. Michael needed to use the restroom, so I led him back to our storeroom. An employee led him back to the toilet -- as he passed by, I said, "Sorry about the mess." And in a very normal voice -- that was NOT high-pitched at all -- he said, "That's okay." Weird, huh?

Neil Sarver said...

That's very odd.

It is fascinating to ponder the great many contradictions that surround him.

Neil Sarver said...

Thanks for sharing your interesting anecdotes!

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