Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Those questions


Larry Aydlette posted his answers to the Bernard Pivot questionnaire, most famously used on Inside the Actor's Studio, on his Facebook notes.

I could've sworn I'd previously posted answers to this, but I can't find them if I did, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

1. What is your favorite word?

Chicken.

No idea why. I say it to myself sometimes when I'm feeling unhappy and it makes me feel better.

That's too much sharing, huh?

2. What is your least favorite word?

Principle, at least in the context of, "It's just the principle of the thing..."

"Oh, well, if it's about some floating abstract specific to your experience and beliefs then I can't begin tell you how important it is to me to act on it!"

3. What turns you on?

Boobs.

Here's where I imagine James Lipton looking at me and continuing, "... creatively, spiritually or emotionally?", and me staring back at him blankly.

4. What turns you off?

Dishonest self-censorship.

You know, like "f*ck". You thought "fuck", right? What did that asterisk do except lie to everyone in suggesting I was somehow "protected" from the vulgarity.

Oddly, I do enjoy the bracketed euphemism replacing an obscenity. "Stick it up your [bottom]!" Awesome!

It always just makes me picture the scene. "The manager darted from the dugout, faced off with the umpire and shouted, 'Please, sir, I believe it would be appropriate for you to take that call and place it gently into your bottom.'"

5. What is your favorite curse word?

Cocksucker!

I had a girlfriend who discouraged that term as disparaging of those who perform fellatio. I'm not sure I agree with that, as I've never had any issue with the word "fucker", but I'm happy to add "cuntlicker" to my vocabulary. It seems much preferable to add a new vulgarity to my vocabulary than removing one.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

The sound of a modem connecting still makes me feel geekily happy. I, of course, only rarely hear it these days. I remember not too long back there was a commercial that used it as an example of what you didn't want, and suffice it to say it failed in its point with me.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

That balloon rubbing sound. Yerk!

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I'll take this as aside from any profession that I am attempting or aspiring to... which leaves me with...

Uh, I dunno. If I had a good answer to this, I might be trying to do it.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Sales. I'd rather dig ditches... and I've dug ditches and it's as bad as its reputation, I swear.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Dude! I'm too fucked up for introductions. Just make yourself at home. Mi casa, su casa!"

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