I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain this week, as I said I would, in The loud introvert.
It's a very interesting read. I went through a number of stages of emotions reading it. It certainly has made some enormous changes in how I want to approach my life and my relationships. It's raised a number of questions as well, that I might discuss publicly on another day.
I've certainly been examining every aspect of my life through this prism, and boring poor Kimberly Rae with it, but also coming to some interesting points about each of our needs and how we can best get them from our lives and our marriage.
But it really has me thinking about my creativity.
When I was a kid, I used to love to things... Oh, I was a kid, I loved all kinds of things at one point or another, but two of the things I thought about while reading was writing, of course, and puzzles. It's been so long since I've done puzzles for my own benefit or enjoyed doing them at all.
But I got a sense where it went wrong. People noticed and got impressed and then I stopped. It became a thing I had to live up to some level of expectation as well as often having to do it as a performance, both of which made it harder and less enjoyable.
I doubt my love of puzzles will return any time soon. Even briefly considering going back to it made me anxious to think about.
But I do still love creating. It's what I think about when I take walks alone or get any time to think on my own.
But through conversation, through Facebook, through this blog and wherever, I've created that kind of situation. On purpose, I'm well aware. The idea of people rooting for you and thinking well of your efforts on even a small level is kind of intoxicating.
I need to some time away, though. It's also very, very distracting.
I'm going off to my cave, a metaphorical cave for now, and just pounding some words out. Writing, as Stephen King admonishes, with the door closed.
If that turns out to be a novel, a screenplay, some short stories or merely a lot nonsense that I let go of, I have no idea.
And yet the freedom of spending some time with that as the goal itself makes writing sound a lot more exciting to me than I've let it be in a long, long time.