Friday, December 29, 2017

2018 and more

I've spent most of adult life focusing much of my energy on one kind of "social media" or another online. Before it was Facebook and Twitter, it was their predecessors, such as Myspace, and before that it was message boards and Usenet, which weren't named as such. And that's not to mention that Golden Age of Blogging that this blog was a minor player in for a brief period.

The things I'm about to get into will undoubtedly make it sound like I feel more negative about it overall than I mean for it to.

As someone who suspects myself of being on the Autism spectrum and realizes that regardless of that, am quite introverted, I can't imagine what my life would have been like exactly if I hadn't come of age at a time when the commercial Internet was also coming of age.

Too often I hear people decry "social media" and Internet communication as making people antisocial and taking away from the social experience. I've felt frustrated and guilty about this at various times, in various relationships. I suspect that in some previous time I would have spent much of that time I spent on these doing something else that was solitary, compared to directly interacting with people, reading or something. I consider that might have been writing or learning to animate or something else that would have benefited me creatively, emotionally and possibly financially. I consider that often.

I'm not here to feel sorry for myself. Honestly, that possibility hadn't prevented me from the easy time dump of "social media" before and it's not going to now.

I've made some kind of friends, as good as I ever do in general, with a number of people on "social media" over the decades. Many I care a lot about. As such, I am not in anyway trying feel sorry for myself over the life I've lived or choices I've made.

That said, in the age of Trump, I think many of us are killing ourselves online. I think we are angrier than ever, which makes sense considering out justifications, but we are also able to release just enough microdoses of rage out by sharing our outrage with others, who just make a little angry emoticon at the same thing, and we've all done essentially the least we could possibly do, but doing it often enough feels like just a little something, rather than the nothing that it is.

I think a lot of people, especially progressives, are caught in this rage cycle. I think we need to get a lot more of out there.

I, for one, need to find a better focus my energy. As a starting place, some of that will be creative. I have things to be written and finished. I have moviemaking experiments to attempt. Fuck, I even have a movie I need to figure out what I can do to finish, so many years later.

There are so many reasons I should be doing these instead, including the arguments that have been there all along.

So, I'm going to try to make a lot of changes at the beginning of 2018. One will be to step away from "social media". I might occasionally take to this blog to express things I really need to put out there or ideas I need to explore through writing them.

I'm both hoping that I don't drop this plan too soon, as I've done before, and that I also find a comfortable time to come back to in which I can have a healthier relationship with it and share things with the many people I care about around the world in a happy productive way.

I'm looking forward to the changes and hope I can make them work.

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