The Bleeding Tree

Gratuity and writing

2012-02-03T00:00:00.001-06:00

I'm coming to one of two points. Either I'll have the time to get to writing without an issue or I'll come to a point where I'll know I have no choice but to make time.

With the passing of my father, Pop, RIP, I find myself thrown back to the effort he put to blacksmithing and his dedication to it. I think, too, that at one point he convinced himself to dream of a pie in the sky future that never came to be. After that, he redoubled his efforts to live the core of his dream. I'm not sure if that was a thought process he went through precisely, but that sounds very much like a process he would have used.

I am reminded I need to redouble my own efforts to live my dreams. Not necessarily reaching for the pie in the sky, but holding on firmly to the core of what I love and what I desire.

I have two projects bouncing about my brain. One I've been discussing with Kimberly Rae and another I'll probably write on my own. I may even jump off the deep end enough to take them both on and juggle them.

Both prevent a conflict in my mind, one I struggle with as a creator and a viewer.

The struggle between discipline and gratuity.

On the one hand, I have written Story strength and length, in large part praising a simple hand in storytelling.

As a reader and fan, I read Machete Home Video Review by Richard Harland Smith. In the review, he wrote, "When they represented the work of journeyman directors or careerist hacks, exploitation movies of the 1970s went down like truck stop steaks: lean, tough, afflicted by occasional instances of bone and gristle but rarely any fat. It's a pity, then, that the contemporary filmmakers who love those movies with such fervor that they attempt, thirty and forty years down the pike, to pay homage to them cannot follow the original recipe."

Part of me agrees.

And yet another part simply loves Machete and loves the very excesses criticized. I love the overstuffedness, the jam-packed with strange characters quality that separates it from the original movies that it sets out to mimic... while still loving those movies, loving the perfection of their simplicity, most likely even preferring it.

But still feeling the draw of the packed story, brimming with all but the kitchen sink.

Perhaps I'll split the difference and tell one in one style and the other in the other.

I'm not sure. Getting there. From here on, less planning and more doing.

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A different kind of truth

2012-01-11T18:00:00.007-06:00

So, this song, "Tattoo", is the lead single from the new Van Halen album, now revealed to be called A Different Kind Of Truth.

It seems to have been something of a misstep, considering the reception. A lot of people seem to not like it at all.

I like it. It's got kind of a nice groove and such. It's not overly catchy and doesn't have the kind of punch a person expects in a single, especially from a band like this, especially not one that's been dreamed of by fans for the last 25 years... Ok, in fairness, it's only been 15 years since the last single with Diamond Dave, which was Me Wise Magic, for those who have forgotten.

For me, whatever else I grow to think of it, it'll always be the first song Conan very clearly tried to sing along with, with sounds and modulation that were audibly intended to mimic the sound of the song itself. That's pretty dang cool!

On the other hand, it's also not the new song performed at their recent small performance at Cafe Wha? either, which I think shows something of a lesser confidence in their new new single. I strongly suspect there was some thinking that "Tattoo" would be a good choice, as it has some surface connection to more recent pop culture. I don't think that connection is particularly beneficial, though.

For the record, Review Collection: Van Halen Live at Cafe Wha? has a long list of genuinely effusive - and, for me as a fan, exciting - reviews of that show.

At that show, they played She's the Woman, which, in an earlier form, has bounced around as having been part of their 1976 Gene Simmons Demo.

Despite the poor sound quality in the video below, it's clear how it captures what most fans have been waiting for in a Van Halen single.

Regardless of any of that, I'm genuinely excited about the album as a whole.

Even though I do think it's a weak lead-off single, I like "Tattoo" and it's growing on me even more as I listen, although I know other people's mileage seem to vary. It seems a lot like "Me Wise Magic", in that both were perceived as underwhelming singles for a "comeback", but both get a little under my skin and I like more and more as time goes by.

I'm certainly hopeful I'll enjoy the album, since I think that's the real point this time out. I'm especially hopeful, since this looks like it will be my Van Halen treat for the year.

Times are tight enough with all that's going on, or at least tight enough. I just can't see being able to justify going to that expensive a show, especially since all of Texas shows are outside Austin means making a good-sized trip. So this'll be the third time, after 1984 and 2007, that seeing Van Halen will simply be an impossibility for me.

Honestly, though, being way past 13, the idea that they're on their feet and putting on kick ass rock 'n' roll shows makes me almost excited as the idea I'll see it for myself.

Good luck, guys!

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Dr. Seuss's Call of Cthulhu

2012-01-04T13:15:00.006-06:00

H.P. Lovecraft's "The Call of Cthulhu" for beginning readers by DrFaustusAU.

I saw when this cover was floating around the internet for a time, but didn't realize until today that an entire book had been crafted around it. Very clever. I must say the weird blend of morbidity and whimsy is exactly fitting the spot my brain was craving at this moment.

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Pop, RIP

2012-01-03T11:15:00.013-06:00

My father, Grant Neil Sarver, Jr., died yesterday.

I'm finding myself mulling over these memorials, RIP Grant Sarver at I Forge Iron and Grant Sarver - RIP at The Northwest Blacksmith Association.

Perhaps down the line when I'm trying to express that Pop was brilliant at what he did, I can point to these and people will feel a little less generous in the way they allow my assertion. I guess this is as good a time as any to say, my relationship with my father was troubled, and such that I don't go out of my way to exaggerate his strengths. It was nonetheless not one in which I felt unnecessarily inclined toward diminishing them either.

I also sat and watched this video:

There are other videos up at the NakedAnvil YouTube Channel. Some of them feature more footage of him instead of his buddy Jack Slack, but somehow his personality comes through in the content and narration of the Junk Yard Hammer video the best, especially in his cameo smile at 8:20.

It also feels perfect that the description says, "We brought it to the Ashville NC ABANA Conference and at the end sold it to the first guy with $100.00!"

I watch these knowing that so much of my childhood was spent in one shop or another, waiting for him to finish up his boring blacksmithing, or waiting at the fair or some other fun outing when he'd stop and chat for what seemed like forever with whoever was demonstrating blacksmithing, making little metal crafts for sale or whatever.

Since becoming a father myself, I've put a lot of thought into the things he did right.

He gave great big hugs. He was fun. I think back at all of the places we used to go as a family. We didn't always have money, so we didn't always go extravagant places, but we'd go on trips to the big library in downtown Seattle or to the piers to look at boats or whatever.

Most of anything, I remember him reading to me. I remember him having near infinite patience for laying with me and reading stories. He'd do voices and they were funny and clearly delineated and consistent. And he'd still lay there with me as I went to sleep, protecting me from monsters and such.

He worked hard. My parents sent me to private schools most of life, for reasons that were certainly more important to my mother, or more in keeping with her beliefs or her assessment of my needs, but he worked hard and sacrificed to make it happen, because he believed in her and in me.

I never really got a chance to tell him that. I imagined, as one too often does, I'd get back home and Conan would meet him and I'd tell him that face to face. He never met my son, and I never told him how many of the things he did meant to me. The last we ever had was our awkward detente, in which he knew I was frustrated with so much of what he'd done in the last many years, but I don't think he really understood why.

I had long ago stopped trying to make him understand. Sometimes people are just two different people, and they see the world differently. In the last year, I was slowly, finally, coming to some peace with that. I really was.

While I did not continue the naming tradition and name my son Grant Neil Sarver IV, I think my son's name reflects more of what I got from him than I would have thought in thinking of it.

He'd diligently check each time he stopped at a convenience store for coffee, and check the magazines for a new edition of the Savage Sword of Conan, although I think both of my parents had some reservations about my interest in them, especially when I started my own terrible brand of pastiches with too much wenching and decapitation... Yes, the very things that would make me and my fellow Robert E. Howard fans go crazy in professionals, but I'd hope most of them would have a little more sympathy for them as the efforts of a 10-year-old.

He took me to see Conan the Barbarian when I was 11. We both had a great time. He was already prepared to become a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger, although I'm not sure why. It may be related to his pleasure in the movie The Villain.

Yeah, my father was many things, but a man of high tastes was never one of them. When I went through my college age quest through the great works of cinema (as well as literature, to a lesser degree), he mostly humored me, and kept taking me to crappy movies, which I suppose I ruined for him, to some extent, with my criticisms.

We did also see Conan the Destroyer at the drive-in. It's the only memory I have of seeing a movie at the drive-in with just Pop. I suspect it is unique in that.

Last night, I sat trying to find something to watch. It should be no surprise that's how I cope.

I considered Highlander. We went to that together. But then I wasn't sure if it wasn't too soon for me with such a pro-mortality movie. Mind you, I think that's a great message, but that doesn't mean I felt like dealing with it.

I started Thunderball, too. I didn't see this with him, that I specifically recollect, but he was very excited when my friend and I went to see this in a theater. He was a huge Sean Connery fan, and a strict Connery partisan in the Connery vs. Roger Moore days, although, as I recall, he did warm up to some of the later Bonds... such was our life that we never discussed my birthday-mate Daniel Craig.

I ended up going with Airplane! as it required so very little from me, and I know he would approve.

Right now, more than anything, I wish I was home to see the rest of my family. Being my father's son, I've not always done all I should to stay in touch, and that's been even harder now that I'm far away. I've missed them all very much in recent days, and now it's just unbearable.

I'm going for the weekend now, and it's all I can think about.

UPDATE: I just wanted to thank user Brasilikilt, who made this post. I can promise you that "I haven't died, I simply stopped using my Peter Wright." is exactly what Pop would say right now, if he could.

Yes, even if there were no other blacksmiths around to get the joke.

UPDATE II: I also specifically appreciated these tributes by Ted Throckmorton and Joe Elliott and wanted to ensure they were linked specifically.

Music from nothing... or from something else

2011-12-30T21:30:00.003-06:00

I read Fargo Rock City long before Cluck Klosterman became spokesmodel for hipster nostalgia-ism.

I kind of liked it as a read actually, although I can't say I benefited in any way from reading it, and apparently not enough to have found even the slightest interest in reading anything he's written since.

In the book, he goes on at great, effusive length about how much he loved Guns N' Roses. I was not of the same feeling, then or now. It frequently puts me at odds with those of my age group, but they never did anything for me, and Axl Rose's voice sounds like the aural equivalent of someone shitting into my ear canal, which kind of throws off whatever small pleasures I might otherwise derive from the band's talents as musicians.

Yet I was always inclined to give Klosterman his assertion that when Appetite For Destruction came out, it sounded like nothing that came before it.

Now, however, I've noticed something. If I I'm across the room or not paying close attention, and don't immediately identify the song, I can't tell the difference between that era of Guns N' Roses and the era of Mötley Crüe that immediately preceded it. I almost always misidentify them.

I'm no longer sure I understand why Klosterman's claim even sounded credible.

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Goodbye, Arbogast

2011-12-29T11:15:00.002-06:00

Laying myself to rest announces the end of the great blog Arbogast on Film. The writings there have slowed down, so I admit I'm not at all surprised, and I guess the time when I regularly read and participated in the discussions at various blogs has already come and gone.

But the passing of this wonderful, always entertaining and insightful blog, that seemed almost emblematic of what movie blogging could be, seems just to mark the final nail in that period when there seemed to be a group of us bloggers, all taking new looks at movies and forming our own little community.

I don't at all miss where my life was during that time, so some of that was certainly an escape for me. But on another level it was exciting and new and fresh, so it was a wonderful escape.

Thanks, Arbo, and godspeed.

Nancy Massetti, drunken motorpsycho

2011-12-28T23:15:00.002-06:00

Kimberly Rae and I were coming home from a trip to the HEB with Conan a little before 6pm this evening.

We pulled up to the end of a row of cars and stopped in the turn lane on William Cannon to turn onto Bluff Springs. Suddenly and very unexpectedly, we were struck with a surprising strength from behind by a car that almost certainly didn't have its headlights on.

My first concern was Conan and getting him out of the car to check him. The apparently inebriated driver of the 2007 Jaguar with Texas vanity plates RAAVEN got out of her car and almost immediately took a mocking and threatening tone to Kim, who was driving the car.

After debating the facts of the case with this worthless troll for a few minutes until her aggressively told falsehoods about the circumstances of the accident had thrown off Kim's already shaken emotions. We agreed to contact the proper authorities and park at the Valero on the corner.

As we waited, she began hurriedly throwing things away from her car in a green satchel of some kind.

We provided our report to the police. We had the EMS workers check over our son, who is thankfully fine so far.

The damage to the car seems to be minor. Kim is feeling very shaken up and increasingly achy, which we're hoping is merely a symptom of the stress of the accident itself as well as that of being verbally abused and threatened by the party responsible for that physical stress as well as the threat to our infant son, a woman reported to us to be a Nancy Massetti.

As we were pulling away, the police were running a field sobriety test on Ms. Massetti. I hope that she is, properly, spending tonight in jail, and will have a number more to spend in the future.

This piece of human garbage never once, for even a fraction of a second, offered the tiniest level of concern or human empathy for the fact that she had seriously endangered the life of our infant son. She tried to put all of the blame for the accident on Kim, despite running into us from behind while we were stopped at a light.

There are genuinely chilling moments in life when one is faced with the fact that not all sociopaths are serial killers, some are just the people who run into us with cars and just... don't care.

VH 2012

2011-12-27T19:30:00.005-06:00

I hope this image is actually the cover of the upcoming Van Halen album. It seems to symbolically capture everything about this incarnation of the band. I'm excited.

UPDATE: The email update this came in was titled "The Future". I infer a solid possibility that could be the title of the new album. I hope it is. I think it, along with that picture, would make a perfect statement about where the band is heading. I could analyze that to death, but I'll leave it. Interestingly, "The Future" is also a really nice title for a follow-up to my previous Van Halen posts.

Part I: The Party
Part II: Hair of the Dog
Part III: Mid-Life
Part IV: Decrepitude
Part V: Monsters
Part VI: Hired Guns
Part VII: The Future

It could almost have been written to that.

And, yeah, I had to leave out Van Halen: Coda for it to work. Shut up!

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M:I-4

2011-12-27T14:30:00.003-06:00

I'm a fan of Mission: Impossible, that crazy TV show from the late '60s/early '70s. Some of you may remember it.

I watched it whenever I got a chance as a kid, which wasn't nearly what I would've hoped. I don't know what the syndication situation was with it, but I only saw it rarely and without any seeming consistency. I did regularly watch The Revival Series, although not as much as I would have in years before or years afterward. My last two years of high school were simply not the best time to be keeping up with the schedule for any show that I can think of.

I started watching the DVD sets a few years ago, and loving them to death, but for some reason I ended up stopped at The Third Season, for reasons that elude my memory.

The thing that's most frustrating to me, among many, about the movie series of the same name, is that it neglects the "team of experts" quality that defines the series, and is the greatest joy of watching it.

The first movie, by Brian De Palma, stripped that away. In fairness to it, it's playing on the audiences expectation of a "team of experts" and stripping that away from us and our confidence in how this will be done as well as to its hero and what he is used to relying on. Whatever one feels about the ultimate result, that is, in itself, an interesting approach for a single movie.

But increasingly formulaic sequels seemed to simply build off that format to become nothing like what a fan of the series might hope for. I'm told that with Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, director Brad Bird and co-creators return it to the proper M:I format. This means instead of seeing it never, as is the plan for Mission: Impossible III, I may see it... eventually.

For now, I'm just tipping my toe in with The Fourth Season. This is fortuitous for me, actually. While I mostly remember that when I'd run into it as a kid, it was from the seasons with Leonard Nimoy, I've seen next to none of it since. It also helps, as this show, like all spy shows - such as Burn Notice - are hard sells for Kimberly Rae, who apparently has a block there.

Luckily, Nimoy trumps the block, but only barely. I had previously tried noting that the format is derived from the heist movies and not James Bond movies or whatever other Austin Powers inspiration may be turning her away from espionage drama. But that argument doesn't really make sense until you've seen it, then it makes perfect sense.

Nimoy was the trump card. We'll see if the show itself can sell her, but this has the foot in the door and we're giving it a chance.

I was disappointed to learn from Marty McKee, who is a much more dedicated "Mission: Impossible" fan than I am, and has written a number of great "Mission: Impossible" posts, that Nimoy was dissatisfied with his tenure on the show.

Most likely that information can be found in I Am Not Spock or I Am Spock, both of which I read many a moon ago, but it managed to sneak out of my mind.

The fact is that following up as Paris, the successor to Martin Landau's "master of disguise" Rollin Hand, was a smart choice as a antidote to the stone-faced Spock character he was already stereotyped as. I'll have to watch to see if I think they failed to give him good enough material, or perhaps it was just a matter of the wrong project at the wrong time.

For now, I'm going to enjoy it for what it is, and enjoy it quite a bit, thank you.

UPDATE: Does M:I 4 make a peace offering to fans of the TV show?

This article confirms what I've heard about this movie, confirming the possibility that I'll see it... eventually. Especially considering my enormous affection for The Iron Giant.

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Titles

2011-12-27T09:15:00.003-06:00

I read Film Titles: The Game Is in the Name by suzidoll, and then happened into The Renaissance of Bad Movie Titles by Devin Faraci.

I think titles can be wonderful, but I've got to say, my pet peeve is titles that say nothing. Now, suzidoll claims that romantic comedies are "the genre that suffers the most from poor titling", but I think it's action movies.

Anybody remember offhand if they've seen Striking Distance or Maximum Risk, which one was better or what either was about?

I always look to the Italians. If You Meet Sartana, Pray For Your Death and Rome Armed to the Teeth? Come on!

I know there are people out there who don't appreciate those titles. They certainly are the opposite of the kind of watered down, test marketed titles you see for everything.

I guess I'm the opposite of the standard, because I've had this conversation on more than one occasion.

Friend, "Are you excited to see Bland One-Word Title?"

Me, feeling quite confident, "Not at all."

Friend, "Really, I thought you liked the movie star whose name is being used to sell Bland One-Word Title."

Me, "Oh, it's that movie! I was interested in seeing that, but the watered down, test marketed title was so offensive, I had trouble looking past it."

Those titles are so offensive to me, I've had occasions where I've had that same conversation multiple times about the same movie.

So, you all can complain about Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, but I knew what movie that was, and that I didn't want to see it because it was the movie it was, and not because I was confused that it could be any of a dozen movies I wasn't interested in. The fact that people remember the title all these years later means it did better at its job than most titles these days.

In fact, I'll take this the whole distance. Wanna know a title I love? The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un‐inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely delivered by Pirates. That's an amazing title. I think we should go back to that style.

I also love the old school, spoiler filled chapter titles of that era.

Year one

2011-12-16T07:45:00.001-06:00

There was some controversy surrounding Frank Miller and his comments about Occupy Wall Street recently. You can read the basics at Occupy Frank Miller by Rich Johnston, if you missed it.

You can check Special Bonus Frank Miller Bun Toons Extra! YAY! YAY! by Ty Templeton and Miller Time-Out by Richard Pace for reactions that mirror mine, in both cases with a great deal more wit than I was able to produce upon reading it.

Suffice it to say, I wasn't impressed by Miller's comments, and it certainly contributed to a growing feeling of discontent I have about Miller as a whole, and certainly my feelings about him as a person. And yet I also felt about like Mark Millar in his post The Frank Miller Controversy or Devin Faraci in his Frank Miller Is An Asshole, But I Still Like His Work.

Which is why I didn't make a grand proclamation that I would boycott Miller's past or future work, and thus watched the animated Batman: Year One without any ethical concerns or hand wringing over my own potential hypocrisy.

The original comic story, Batman: Year One by Miller and David Mazzucchelli is one of the high points of that period in the '80s when superhero comics "grew up", if only briefly. For me, it towers above even Miller's much venerated Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.

And with its film noir influenced story and cinematic imagery, it seems like a natural fit for cinematic adaptation, so seeing that DC Universe Animated, led by the likes of Bruce Timm and Alan Burnett, it seemed a natural that I'd love it.

But I didn't quite.

All of the material is there. The already classic images on display. A terrific voice cast handling the characters. The story of Lt. James Gordon and his struggle against corruption in the ranks of the Gotham City Police Department taking the lead with the shadowy Batman in the background, as it should be.

Somehow the more of the adaptation added up to just a little bit less.

Mind you, I very much expect it will grow on me. It's the first of the DC Universe Animated movie since Justice League: The New Frontier that I imagine I'll want to own at some point. Not to mention, the preview documentary for Justice League: Doom was very promising.

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Fans, critics and Star Wars TV

2011-12-07T15:15:00.001-06:00

I was looking at something generally unrelated and stumbled on the link to this story, Rick McCallum Talks "Star Wars" TV Series, Compares It to The Godfather by Kevin Yeoman.

The story itself was relatively uninteresting. I'd like to see this show, which should surprise no one. I think The Clone Wars has shown serial television to be a format in which the Star Wars universe is really able to thrive.

But this is what I'm writing about.

First it quotes Rick McCallum, "Basically, it is like The Godfather; it’s the Empire slowly building up its power base around the galaxy, what happens in Coruscant, which is the major capital, and it’s [about] a group of underground bosses who live there and control drugs, prostitution."

Ok, interesting.

Than Yeoman follows-up, "McCallum’s comparison to such disparate works as the Francis Ford Coppola classic will likely serve to stir more debate and controversy around the disputed quality of the most recent Star Wars films."

Ok, I'm not picking on Yeoman here, because I think he's right. I mean, this is apparently old news and I never caught wind of this controversy, but I've been surrounded by plenty of equal controversies, so see the caution as justified.

But what does that say about the quality of debate out there?

It hardly takes a genius to figure out the the comparison to The Godfather was thematic and not qualitative. In fact, it takes an idiot not to see that.

What if he did, though? Why wouldn't you shoot for your series to be like the best?

Even if McCallum and George Lucas felt, deep in their hearts, that the prequels were terrible, worthless, foolish and whatever else one might think of them, would that be a good excuse to aim lower?

Shouldn't it be more controversial to aim low?

Again, even taking for granted the notion that their most recent works failed, shouldn't they continue - or perhaps go back to - aiming to be the best? I don't have to believe that this series, if it ever comes, will meet the qualitative standard of The Godfather in order to believe that it stands the most chance of coming closer to it if they're trying to.

Maybe this says more about what's wrong with fandom and the entertainment industry than I'm prepared to get into right now.

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No Khan!

2011-12-06T07:15:00.002-06:00

Look, I know I blustered and said I wouldn't go to J.J. Abrams's Star Trek, then copped out. I'm weak. I've seen all of the Star Trek movies in a theater, and it got a lot of really good buzz.

The results, as detailed here, were positive, but nowhere near effusive.

I don't want to turn this into a blog where I spend too much time discussing future movie projects. I don't spend enough time here, and I'm much more interested in spending the time I spend here talking about movies that already exist... or at least future movie projects that I'm personally working on.

But, as Trek the second (along with others) will attest, "Star Trek" brings that out in me.

Let me say that when it was announced that Benicio Del Toro was being courted for the next "Star Trek" villain and it was a villain from the original series, I really thought Harry Mudd.

And I thought that could work.

Then comes Exclusive: We Know Who Benicio Del Toro Is Playing In Star Trek 2! by El Mayimbe.

KHAAAAAAN?!

Star Trek 2: Khan Begins (or Benicio Del Toro might be playing Khan in Star Trek 2. Why that's a bad thing) by Devin Faraci says it better than I can, but really?

I know Abrams issued a denial, but more recent events make it clear that he could easily have been giving a sly denial that Del Toro would play Khan not that Khan would be the villain.

Fuck that!

I won't go. Period.

I don't care what the buzz is. It wasn't that close to the target last time.

I don't need to see Space Seed replayed in this new timeline.

And most importantly I don't need to see it reworked as one more take on Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan.

Every time the "Star Trek" franchise thinks it needs re-invigorating, it goes back to Wrath of Khan, to one extent or another. From Star Trek: First Contact to Star Trek: Nemesis, even, to some extent, Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country and, greatly, Abrams's previous Star Trek.

It needs to be let go.

Not that I don't love The Wrath of Khan like the rest of you, but seriously.

I'll consider not going if I just start hearing those comparisons again, but if it's that naked in its attempt, I won't even consider it.

No Khan. No way.

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Another year, another blogoversary

2011-12-06T00:00:00.006-06:00

This is my eighth blogoversary and only the third year I've noted its passing.

Maybe other years I was too busy writing about movies or something.

I wouldn't trade this December for any that I experienced before. I'm excited to spend Conan's first Christmas with Kimberly Rae and our little bud-bud. It promises to be a joyous new time for us, and that couldn't be replaced by more or better blog posts, I promise.

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John Carter of Mars

2011-12-05T07:45:00.006-06:00

So, Disney's John Carter of Mars, huh?

There's probably no way that's ever quite going to sound right, is there?

How's the movie look?

I can't help getting the feeling it'll somehow suffer the same fate at discussed in Green Lantern. The trailer suggests that it'll go too far into the wild and wonderful for the "mainstream" to be as successful as it could be, but make too many compromises to appease them to be a truly wonderful new take on the material.

The film comes into focus as John Carter gets a new trailer and poster by Drew McWeeny gets at the problem, "At this point in the campaign, with the film coming out in March, I should be frothing at the mouth, ready to go, dying to see how the whole thing comes together."

I'm certainly hooked enough simply by this existing to go, and the campaign isn't exactly driving me away, but it is missing the hook, and I'm sure that's, if anything, worse for those who don't have the hook of already being fans of the series by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

I have to say that the change from "John Carter of Mars" to "John Carter" is a big loser for me, and I'm refusing to acknowledge it. The story I've heard is that the lack of interest in Mars Needs Moms led Disney to believe the "Mars" label isn't marketable. Unfortunately, the interesting thing about the "John Carter of Mars" label is the juxtaposition of a kind of generic white guy name and his positioning as to being "of Mars". Losing "of Mars" makes it just a generic white guy name with no hook at all. I can't imagine too many kids leaping on to get excited about some generic white guy, even with the fantastic creatures in view here.

Not to mention that I think the failure of Mars Needs Moms would probably be better placed on the uninspiring trailer as a whole. I obviously don't have access to the same market research as them, but that seems much more plausible to this potential viewer. And, of course, "Mars Needs Moms" also sounds like it's trying altogether too hard to sound clever.

On the home front, Kimberly Rae has not read the books, so we've initiated a "family reading time" in which we're reading A Princess of Mars together. We were already discussing that we both need to read more, and, while Conan is much too young to appreciate the story, perhaps this can just seamlessly transition when he is.

However both of us will have that book fresh in our heads as comparison, for better or worse, when the movie arrives.

UPDATE: The title of John Carter and why it has everything to do with gender and money in Hollywood by Jill Pantozzi has a more pointed take on that boring sounding title of "John Carter".

Andrew Stanton Says Girls Won’t See Movies With Mars In The Title by Devin Faraci also take issue with the title, perhaps less pointed, but coming down to the same issue.

My take is that whether it's the Mars Needs Moms thing, stupid but vaguely innocuous, or Stanton's explanation, sexist and out of touch, the title "John Carter" in itself is terrible.

Don't bother with what I think, though. If it's an adaptation of "A Princess of Mars", my ticket is already predestined and I admit that. The question is whether one single uninitiated person thinks it sounds even a little bit interesting, and I very much doubt even one does.

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Green Lantern

2011-12-04T22:30:00.000-06:00

If one of the new-fangled budget breaking superheroes was going to actually jump out of the pack and embrace the crazy Silver Age roots of its concept, it should have been Green Lantern, and for a little bit, it kind of even tried to...

Let's go through some history. I promise to stay brief.

Alan Scott, the first comic book Green Lantern, was created in 1940 by Martin Nodell and Bill Finger. At that time, he was given a magic ring with which he perform acts of magic that he used to solve crime and such.

The core story is a reference to Aladdin, with a lantern modernizing the lamp, and "Alan Ladd" originally being a play on "Aladdin" prior to being changed and some other guy making the name famous.

The character was popular and successful, launching his own title and becoming a founding member of the Justice Society of America, the original superhero team book.

However in the early '50s, nearly all of the Golden Age superheroes drifted off into the distance.

The surviving characters would go through rough times surviving. But this would come to an end. The ideas would be reborn and rebuilt, beginning with Showcase #4, which would re-invent The Flash for a then modern audience. This Flash had a slick new Space Age look and a job as a scientist that led to his gaining his new powers.

Hal Jordan, the new Green Lantern, would also sport a new Space Age origin and concept, courtesy of John Broome and Gil Kane, along with Julius Schwartz. Jordan was a test pilot who was given the ring by a dying alien, Abin Sur, for the fellow geeks who need me to include that, recruiting him to become a member of an intergalactic peace keeping force.

The concept and execution of the Green Lantern Corps borrows liberally from the Lensman series by E.E. "Doc" Smith, showing a sweeping Space Operatic force, with a powerful tool that each member keeps that allows them to focus their power for good.

It's a no-brainer for a terrific yarn, and must have been toyed with as a potential movie since shortly after its development, certainly since Star Wars and Superman: The Movie made a movie of that scope and style possible to suggest in real world terms.

But even with that, the lightning in a bottle of those quickly proved elusive for Hollywood to recreate. Even now, these decades later, they seem so simple, like they should be so easy to reproduce in volume.

It wasn't until recent years proved a virtual boom for superhero movies did Green Lantern move forward.

On the heels of X-Men and The Dark Knight may not have been the right place for Green Lantern, although perhaps Iron Man might have been a step in the same direction.

I think the character feels impossible to separate from that Space Age origin and I think The New Frontier by Darwyn Cooke is, as such, the modern interpretation that really seems to "get it".

And while a Mad Men style take on the material could be brilliant, I don't believe it's impossible to solve as modern tale.

I think the thing that killed it in terms of fan support right off was Ryan Reynolds.

Look, I like the guy. Really, I do. Hell, I liked Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, so what do I know?

But after failed attempts at playing characters supposedly based on Hannibal King and Deadpool in movies that came at both characters without respect for their history and turned out to be really dull-witted movies, old Ryan just didn't have any more goodwill left in the comic book fan community.

Anything short of the greatest Green Lantern movie was almost bound to get dismissed with Reynolds in the lead.

Director Martin Campbell shows up as kind of a mixed bag. He certainly has consistently shot competent cinema and clear, kinetic action. But then he shows very little that could be considered a "vision".

So, what is Green Lantern?

Basically an example of a very professional mixed bag without a clear vision.

I've seen complaints about the movie showing Hal Jordan's learning curve, but then that's been standard since Broome and Kane. Perhaps amping up the humor to suit Reynolds's fanbase, or at least his strengths, may have been done to a greater extent than I'd prefer, but not by too much.

For me, the movie falls apart when it decides instead of really embracing the Green Lantern Corps and the major Space Opera it builds to, it instead tells some re-invented story of Hector Hammond as one more mundane comic book movie villain with "daddy issues". The major conflict with Parallax - portrayed as kind of a Galactus ripoff (although certainly a more accurate take than the one in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - ends up feeling like an afterthought.

I'm unsure if the movie ended up running out of the necessary budget to execute a proper Green Lantern Corps ending or in they ran out of the courage of their convictions to embrace the character's origins and go full-on Silver Age!

The result of this movie is a frustration. It's nowhere near the disaster it's often accused of being, and yet it's not good enough - or even quite trying hard enough - to feel worth defending.

There's enough good that I'd like to see them go ahead with the sequel, so we can get on with the Interplanetary battle against rogue Green Lantern Sinestro, and not have to bother with what would otherwise undoubtedly result in another retelling of the origin, and that doesn't seem worth it.

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Letters to Conan: an introduction

2011-11-16T12:45:00.004-06:00

Hey Bud-bud,

Assuming you ever read this, I probably don't call you that anymore. Or do I? Right now, it's threatening to be your first word.

There are so many ways that you coming into my life has changed how I look at things. One of them is that I'm suddenly afraid to die.

No, your dad was never some crazy daredevil extreme sports fanatic, nor was he a sweater wearing nihlist sitting awaiting his demise. However, since you've come around, if the thought comes to me that I could die soon, you'd grow up without a dad, or at least without me as your dad, and that makes me sad in a way I've not felt before.

Now, being a total dork, one of the things - although not the first thing - I think when I'm pondering this, is that I hope my blog survives, so you can get the chance to find out at least that level of who I am, the things I like and dislike and what interests me. It's a relatively small part of who I am, although as a total dork, it's also an unhealthily large part of how I identify myself.

Then I come to remember something I always find lacking on this blog already… Discussion of my favorite things and why I love them. Sure there's a couple of posts like that hiding in here somewhere. Not to mention countless passing references to them.

Largely I skip writing pieces like that because they are intimidating. I'm not incapable of writing long think pieces exploring symbolism and nuance, but the times I've tried the results have bored me. I suppose if I were interested in pursuing critical writing, I'd write more and work harder at making them work. Ultimately, I don't think that's my gift to the world, and I'm not that interested.

For example, I see and appreciate the layers of symbolism in the Planet of the Apes movies, how they work as allegories for the age they were made in and how they can be applied to earlier and later struggles of power and disempowerment. The reason I watch them over and over again, and I do, is because they're frickin' cool! The layers of symbolism are, for me, a fun game you can play afterward as you toss it around in your head, but I'm much more interested in the basic core conflict and how the characters deal with those conflicts… and, well, what's frickin' cool, whatever it is that says about me.

Hopefully we'll have a long life together, and we can explore the things I like all the reasons I like them - primal, esoteric and all things in-between - and more excitingly what you like and the reasons you end up liking them, I'm certain those will start with primal and we'll see whether your interests develop into deeper or more esoteric ways of enjoying things. Not everyone does, and not everyone necessarily should, if that doesn't help them get more enjoyment out of the things they like.

Of course, I'll make sure that I or your teachers or whoever is appropriate makes sure you learn how to examine the deeper themes and meaning in art, that's just an essential skill that everyone should develop at some point. I just think you should make of that skill whatever you want, once you've developed it.

I think having a good background in fun books, movies, TV shows, music and whatnot that can also withstand further examination is a good start toward developing those skills, not to mention they're kick ass ways to spend a Saturday afternoon!

So I'm going to start writing letters to you. Hopefully I'll be around and you'll discover these someday and these will be quaint pictures of things we eventually shared, and however much you enjoyed the individual works, I hope you at least were able to enjoy the time we shared on them.

In the event that you do discover these and something did happen to me, please know that I love you so much and these were among the things I wanted to share with you, along with trips to the park, swimming, museums and a thousand other wonderful things I look forward to sharing with.

I don't know how often I'll update with these. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to get excited about things and not follow-through as well as I ought to. I'm working to do better at that, for you and your mom, but I expect it'll be a continuing struggle.

And honestly, it's still a backburner project behind spending actual time with you, holding and kissing you, and hanging out with you and your mom, while we both help you grow.

For what it's worth, I picture this you being around 10 or 12 when you find this. I have no idea how accurate that will be, in either direction, assuming you find these at all. Because of that, I'll be targetting the early entries to things I imagine would be good to discover then (or to have discovered by then). If I do continue, I promise I will get around to Sam Peckinpah, Russ Meyer and gialli for the somewhat older Conan.

For anyone peeking in at these who thinks my early choices might be inappropriate, I'll only say this. As a living, breathing active parent, I believe choices such as that are something to use reasonable discretion with. Many of the things I have in mind are things I discovered when I was in that age range myself, others are in the same maturity range.

I'm not a believer in "ages" in that sense. I think we all develop at our own pace and that one of the roles of being a parent is knowing your child and helping guide those choices appropriately. I don't think "turning" 13 makes you any more prepared to handle watching Red Dawn than you were when you were at 12 years, 364 days, so I plan never to offer an arbitrary date on which something can be read or viewed. I think offering that kind of arbitrary decision is irresponsible, ceding your parental responsibility to be continually aware of your child's development or making your own judgments.

So, for you, Conan, that's my promise. Not that I'll never tell you that you aren't ready for anything, but that will be a continuing discussion I'll work with you on, not just something I'll leave off to another arbitrary day.

Assuming the happiest conclusion - and, of course, the one I'm planning for - and I'm around, all of these will be their own discussion between your mother and myself about their appropriateness when their time comes, and if I'm not, it will, of course, be for your mother to decide whether your dad was a fool to imagine such material for one so young and you can blame me for being so foolish as to get your hopes up.

I look at you every day and see the most beautiful little person I've ever seen. I hope to spend a long time into the future. I can't tell you how much I hope that if you ever do find this, you'll be coming to me and laughing at what a sentimental old fool your dad was.

And maybe by then I'll even have to be reminded what you're talking about.

Open Letter to Ozzy Osbourne

2011-11-13T12:00:00.002-06:00

Dear Ozzy,

Please don't take any offense here. I like you. You actually seem like a good guy, in your own charmingly deluded and addled way. Not to mention, I know you're smart. You've let people pay attention to how you sound when you try to listen to your mumbling, shambling speech patterns too much, because it makes them underestimate you.

I'm not fooled, though. I grew up reading interviews with you in magazines, where when everything gets strung together, it's clearly intelligent.

Most of all, though, I'm a fan from way back. You signed my copy of Bark at the Moon at Tower Records is Seattle when I was 13.

I've also long held up your Black Sabbath years as definitive. Even as my admiration for the Ronnie James Dio-era increased as time went on, I still openly said it should've most likely been given a new band name, y'know, like Heaven & Hell.

But I read Black Sabbath reunite to release new album and tour by Beatrice Woolf, or any of the identical stories about, and I worry.

Look, Ozzy, there isn't a terrifically easy way of putting this, but most of us fans don't think you've done much worthwhile in a long time. Probably, even the most generous of us, would put it before Reunion.

And believe me, we don't want to be nay-sayers. Deep inside me is still the biggest fan ever standing in a long line at a parking lot, trying to explain to his parents why they should let him wait.

That was probably why most people treated "Psycho Man" and "Selling My Soul", the new songs on "Reunion", with kid-gloves. It's the original Sabbath and it's cool that they're even getting along, playing classic songs and even trying to do new songs.

At that time, your fellow Sabs were coming off Forbidden, which is absolutely awful on every level.

(Even being generous and dismissing "Forbidden" as fulfilling a contract, Cross Purposes has its moments, but was not well received overall.)

(Hell, even being extra generous and going back to their previous high profile release, Dehumanizer which reunited them with Dio, was hardly well regarded in its time, even if it has gained some respectability over time.)

At that time, you all were considered to have little room to go but up qualitatively, so it was no wonder that everyone came at the material with a spirit of generosity.

Now, however, your reputation is... well... largely unchanged, which says a lot more about how absolutely amazing your early output is, both with Sabbath and as a solo artist, as well as how likeable you seem to be a person than it does about your recent output, which is, at best forgettable. I guess forgettable is good, because we can just remember how great Paranoid and Diary of a Madman are.

I've got to warn you, though. The Devil You Know is one of the best things in the Black Sabbath catalog (even if it's not officially listed with it). I don't know if you've taken the time to spin it, or anyone else has given you that news with the right emphasis.

Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler are not coming off an Ernie C produced disaster throwaway. They seem to Heavy Metal enthusiasts and Black Sabbath fans to be at about the top of their game.

Even as a life-long Ozzy-partisan in the Sabbath debate, I have to agree.

You need to bring your A Game to this one. If this album sucks, or is even just another bit of forgettable metallic pabulum, it will look like you brought them down, not the other way.

They can finally reunite with Ian Gillan - Yes, I know that won't happen, but I can dream - or start some other new supergroup with Rob Halford or whoever else is available, and release another album of anything like the credibility of "The Devil You Know", and you become the thing that went wrong, no matter what anyone says.

Mind you, I'm sure you'll still be able to line-up some big Ozzfest lineups and make plenty more money, off a mountain of goodwill and great songs. If that's all you want, that's great.

But then, if that's all you wanted, why bother to even take a shot at a Sabbath reunion, right?

You already did the big money, headline around the world tour with a Sabbath reunion. Presumably, you're hoping to make one last grab at credibility and proving your legacy. I hope so, because I'd love to hear the album you 4 guys could make at the top of your games 30 years later and rocking just as hard.

Good luck, sir!

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Time, plans, hopes, dreams and trash

2011-10-23T22:00:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged in over a month.

I really have been meaning to.

I'm just working full time. Kimberly Rae is taking care of Conan full time.

When I get home I spend a lot of time with both of them, trying to get in all I can with them, not to mention, when I can, giving Kim at least a little bit of a break.

So, a lot of things are falling by the wayside at the moment. Just explaining, mind you, not apologizing.

Often, when I note these changes going on, Kim takes it as a complaint. I hope not for anything in my tone. I don't think so. I think it's just the cultural stereotype of the man resenting his new life as spouse and father and the responsibility that comes with it.

I can see where that comes from. It's an awful lot of responsibility and work. If I were younger or with someone I wasn't thrilled to spend my days with, this could seem like only work. I'm sure that's the reason that some people started that cultural stereotype.

But I'm feeling none of it. I have more than a little impression of what I'd have otherwise in my life, and I'm thrilled to go through the work with Kim and Conan to make our life what we want it to be.

And going about taking stock of my life and my future. I know I need to put some greater effort into determining what I want to do with my life and doing it. I've spent a great deal of my life

I've written Me moviemaker, and I've not changed that conclusion one bit.

In fact when I read about the job of screenwriting, including following professional screenwriters such as Sean Hood at Genre Hacks or William C. Martell at Sex In A Submarine, I find myself more confident that screenwriting is not a job I would enjoy or likely be very good at.

It occurs to me that one of the things that has been holding me back from pursuing my moviemaking future was my guilt about getting Lakeside completed. However, I think that in itself has in many ways only kept it in limbo longer and made it a more enduring piece of superstition building. When I think it over carefully, it occurs to me that if I had grabbed the bull by the horns and moved on to another project since that collapse of "Lakeside", I'd have probably have built the kind of network and resources I need to get "Lakeside" finished, while sitting around feeling guilty has merely left it in pieces in my closet.

I have two things I'm pondering. Both were kind of hinted at in Die, random notes, die!

The one is a kind of fake retro DIY sci-fi independent serial project that I have to confess is exactly the kind of thing I'd sneer at if someone was trying to talk me into watching. It's also, and my ego hates writing this, something I'm not sure I feel able to write on my own. Not the individual points, but I want it to feel like a collaborative effort, and I don't feel like a strong enough writer to do that on my own so I expect to hold off until a day when maybe I'll have a community around me that can create it with me as a collective.

I also mentioned that someone should start a studio dedicated to making adaptations of the kinds of Men's Adventure Novels reviewed at Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot, Glorious Trash along with what must certainly be many other places on this great big Internet.

Yeah, I can't imagine I'll have the resources to buy rights to even whichever would be the cheapest of these or start a production company.

(Although I'm overflowing with different ways to handle it. Kind of a version of The Asylum for action movies instead of horror or sci-fi, although not without differences either.)

However that doesn't mean I can't start by writing up something of my own that fits some of the beats that I find most appealing about reading those novels - and perhaps even more from reading about them - and seeing where I can go with it.

As part of my life re-assessment, though, those are probably my big pushes.

Perhaps I'll be too enamored of another idea of mine to break this, but right now I'd like to make a serious push of those two ideas, do as best I can at making them happen and succeed as best I'm able, and, if they don't go anywhere, let go of that dream.

Not to resignation to a work-a-day living, but maybe I really will pursue writing prose, short stories and novels. I may even look at those concurrent to the other push. It may seem odd, while restating that I'm a moviemaker, but it really does make sense to me.

As to blogging... It's a funny thing, right now it doesn't seem important.

It's hard, because I haven't been getting much opportunity to watch movies. It's hard with my current work schedule to get books read.

I do listen to music, but I have trouble finding the time putting it together in my head to write up.

I've been listening to a lot of Black Sabbath. Some part of me would like to do something like my earlier Van Halen analysis. I promise my Ozzy Osbourne/Ronnie James Dio/Ian Gillan/Glenn Hughes/Tony Martin analysis would come out much more interesting than my Van Halen thoughts which, hard as I tried, still added up to Dave rocks and Sammy sucks! Oh, yeah, and Gary Cherone is a fucking douche, but, y'know, duh!

In fact, in my mind, I'd start my writings on the underrated Born Again featuring Ian Gillan, which I think may be the only Black Sabbath "reunion" I'd actually be interested in seeing.

So, this ol' bleedin' tree ain't dead, at least not in my head.

But I've gotta say, it's probably pretty paralyzed.

I've said before, I'm sure including here, that I've ultimately not gotten to feeling like I'm good enough at this kind of writing... or driven enough to get good enough... to justify it as anything more than a casual pursuit, and my casual pursuit time is down.

Most of the time if I'm not with Kim and Conan, I'd rather try to get a movie in or read a couple of chapters of a book or catch up on some of the blogs I read... or try to.

I tried on Friday to watch the Hammer Films version of She on Turner Classic Movies. Of course it didn't work entirely, although it is a magnificently beautiful movie. It's nice even to look up and see bits and pieces of.

And I did finally finish The Italian Connection, so life is pretty good!

(So was the movie, by the way.)

Not to mention... Tiki!

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The great Netflix implosion

2011-09-19T22:15:00.006-05:00

Kim and I had switched to Netflix Instant and dropped our disc rental service a couple of months back. I ultimately prefer the old school brick and mortar feel of going into Vulcan Video or I Luv Video for shopping and, after being another victim of Netflix throttling program, Redbox for just picking up a new release on the fly.

So we weren't significantly affected by big breakup.

I may even have posted this video on Facebook.

Netflix Relief Fund with Jason Alexander from Jason Alexander

Really? Does no one have anything better to worry about?

Yeah, losing the Starz at the same time was a weird blow to come at the same time, especially for mainstream people looking mostly for new releases.

For me, there were a ton of Blue Underground, Raro Video and such that suddenly appeared. Frankly, for we who enjoy unusual movies, Netflix Instant is filled with treats. Not quite as often as I like the exact movie I want, but there's stuff for every mood I can imagine... and I can imagine a lot.

Not to mention, I expected there was something else up their sleeve that we'd hear about before Starz went away. Presumably a big fish that would keep everyone interested until all memories of this public relations mess were all but gone.

Let's face it, Netflix Instant is in the studios best interest in the long term. Something like it will be what we all turn to eventually.

Yeah, they're being grumpy now, imagining their own service or whatever, but a single one-stop streaming service is what will eventually work out, because it only makes sense. If studios don't come down to agreeing on that somehow, they'll be reminded that torrent sites have all of each of their movies in one place.

I don't mean a threat or a value judgment there, just a basic notation of how things work.

And Netflix remains the only company significantly poised to create that single-shop location.

So me, sitting back, expecting Netflix to make a significant announcement and jump back, and what happens?

An Explanation and Some Reflections by Reed Hastings.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

I expected it to break into If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, "Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard! It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm."

He says things like "nearly every movie ever made is published on DVD", which is insultingly false. Anyone who knows anything about movies know that's insultingly false, but then Hastings has always shown open disdain for actual movie fans... see "throttling" reference above.

He was ostensibly apologizing for company "arrogance" and how it inconvenienced customers, and still can't help slipping in an arrogant inconvenience. Seriously, two websites? Alright... I guess. They don't connect? Seriously? I have to choose or rate and review and check the availability twice?

A host of opinions have come. I think this post by Dan Solomon captures the dichotomy, although I'm not entirely sure I think his comparison to the services as "selling sandwiches and, I dunno, deep-dish pizza" works better than sandwiches and meat. I think there's a middle-ground menu metaphor out there waiting to be nailed down.

Now, for me, I'd already been relatively satisfied with giving up the disc service, but the lack of integration pretty much cemented it. The ridiculous name Qwikster only pissed on the spot where that possibility was buried.

But then Qwikster is merely poised for "Qwik Sale", isn't it? Presumably the new owners will rebrand it, and may want one of the potentially decent alternative names. That also explains why it's an advantage to take away the integration between the sites, which otherwise seems like putting an extra effort to inconvenience customers.

Look, I've worked in Customer Service. I know how goddamn stupid the thing about making the customer feel like you care is. I can't fucking believe it's true... and yet come down to it, it's true, and true for me too.

Really, it's been less than a day and I'd probably switch to their competition, if they had any competition that seems poised to take my business.

And that is why Hastings doesn't mind pissing on your leg while he pretends to apologize. That is why he especially doesn't care about pissing straight in the face of actual movie geeks.

Let's face it, we can gripe, but Netflix has most of us by the balls for now.

For instance, I have to finish The Italian Connection on Netflix Instant.

UPDATE: I also recommend Why it’s Incredibly Stupid for Netflix to Split into Two Companies by E.D. Kain, which takes most of the same positions I took, including agreeing with the earlier decision to split service. I wonder how long until we see if this backlash has an effect.

And what will it be? Will Netflix successfully dump off Qwikster on a buyer ready to rebrand and try turn it back into a company people feel positive toward or will Netflix try to backstep, having managed to alienate a significant number of the very people who agreed with their original decision, even if we understood it wasn't handled as well as it could have been.

UPDATE II: Also The Qwikster and the Dead by Megan McArdle, "So I understand that Netflix was in a bad place. But I don't understand how Qwikster solves any of these problems."

UPDATE III: My e-mail from Reed: Netflix "apologizes," pulls a Qwikster by Jim Emerson, "But here's what you still don't seem to understand: You don't announce price hikes now at the same time you promise vague improvements in service at some point in the indefinite future. You don't trumpet the formation of a new company/division without showing -- right now -- how that new label improves on what you've been offering in the past. In other words, don't expect money for nothing. Or, worse, less."

End of politics

2011-09-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

A while back I did some clean-up here at this ol' Bleeding Tree. One of the key things I did was to delete the vast majority of political posts. There were a variety of reasons. Part of it was to avoid being quite as alienating quite as often to those with whom I disagree.

Honestly, the other part is that I don't care.

Hiding somewhere in an article like this, Goodbye to All That: Reflections of a GOP Operative Who Left the Cult by Mike Lofgren, with which I disagree with little to nothing and only feel more discouraged.

The fact is, I think the system is broken.

I think the binary two-party system not only doesn't work, it actually actively works against us at this point. By it's basic nature.

So it doesn't matter that Democrats are substantially less evil and anti-American than Republicans. It's simply not a very significant accomplishment.

And while we are trapped within this, there's simply no benefit to participating. Participation is ultimately a way we feed the monster that's killing us.

I know, that's bad. Apathy is the problem, etc.

And it's true, a wave of universal passion would actually have an effect, however that's not going to happen either.

I'm sorry to get so cynical. I just wanted to get it out, so I could move past it.

Books and boobs

2011-09-08T19:30:00.004-05:00

I suspect it's Meet New York City's Outdoor Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society by Jen Doll that inspired the recent surge of publicity that let us all know about The Outdoor Co-ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society.

Whatever it was, thank you.

Look, a group "making reading sexy" by going out and reading topless seems like a great idea. I can't believe no one thought of it before. The fact that they're reading "pulp fiction", notably a good lot of Hard Case Crime, is just icing on the cake of awesomeness.

Somebody needs to get branches started around the country. May I suggest Austin?

Christa Faust, author of Money Shot - which I wrote about in Money shot - and the upcoming sequel Choke Hold, shown in some of the The Outdoor Co-ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society pictures, posted this picture of a dress made from Hard Case Books. Your results may vary, but I thought it was pretty dang cool.

I'm in favor of all comers who want to make reading fun, sexy, cool or just plain interesting.

I've said it before, but I remember when there were so many books that there were crappy books everywhere. Crappy books for all tastes. So many that people felt they had the luxury to look down on some of them!

Can you imagine someone who felt they were so literate that they'd look down on anyone reading anything anymore? It sounds bizarre to even think of.

So, let's see more groups like this. Not all of them need to involve bare breasts... but hey, no complaints here! Get out there, make a show of reading and books and literacy.

Books are fun, sexy, cool and just plain interesting. Let's help people remember that... or, if needed, teach them that.

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My three-year Austin-versary

2011-09-01T00:00:00.009-05:00

I can't begin to explain how bad of shape I was in when I escaped Seattle and found myself here in Austin.

I think even most people who think they have an idea, and even have reason to, could multiply what's in their head by five or even ten and be a lot closer to how things were.

There are hints here and there, I know such as on Offered without apology, but I don't even know I'll ever tell the extent of how crappy I felt about myself and my life and the ins-and-outs of it.

I know that whenever I start to think I have my shit together and finish Lakeside, which is a task I owe the people who helped make it, I collapse into the trauma of that time, and even the realization that the story itself was probably a very early unconscious cry for help in itself.

Thinking that it's been three years since I got here makes me ever more homesick for a visit. I haven't seen my family or friends there or eaten at Pagliacci or a dozen other things I could go on about.

I've missed so much of my nephew Julian's life. I'd already been, because of circumstances, at the time I left and now he's, well, so far, and so big...

Ultimately, though, I can't express how much better it is for me here.

Honestly, the Alamo Drafthouse could have been enough, if that'd been all, but of course there's so very much more than that.

There's the beautiful Kimberly Rae who makes me feel luckier than I've ever felt every single day, and our son Conan is the greatest living human!

And living somewhere that the sun shines - even if this year it seems to shine too much for most - and where people really do smile and talk to you.

I can't begin to thank my friends Jo and Robert for making this opportunity possible, and quite probably saving my life, and to Kim and Conan it worthwhile to have had it saved. You're all more important to me than I could ever explain, and more than I'm often very good at showing... stupid reserved Northwestern ways still, I guess.

Naked aesthetics

2011-08-31T19:00:00.003-05:00

I think we've taken a weird step backward as a society.

Yeah, probably a few. And a bunch of others forward. It's how things work, I know.

But I'm not here to speak to any of those other issues.

There's a thought process by which people - it seems guys most often - have reduced all naked - or nearly naked - people to a binary process of "I want to have sex with that naked person" and "I am offended and/or disgusted by that naked person."

I have gotten any number of comments from people assuming I'll agree with - or even understand - this point of view. Sometimes it's about naked men, others about women that the person perceives as not attractive enough for their taste.

I don't.

Mind you, I've expressed that I'm kind of a 12-year-old most of the time with attractive women. I almost never get around to any in my attraction past, "Whee! Boobies!" And if I do, it usually involves putting them in a movie.

So, maybe it's less about my more evolved ability to not be offended and/or disgusted and more that I don't immediately leap to the idea of intercourse at any point I see a naked person that makes this not make sense to me.

On the other hand, that confusing binary approach doesn't seem to apply to the neighbor's dog, Eric Clapton's guitar, an old tuba or a brand new car.

Whatever. I'm just not offended or disgusted by naked people I'm not attracted to. They're just people and they're just naked.

It's cool. Really.

The barbarian

2011-08-21T01:30:00.009-05:00

Kimberly Rae and I went to the Marcus Nispel movie Conan the Barbarian as our first full date since our little Conan was born, and we had a great time.

Now, I should say, if you tore 11-year-old Neil up from an issue of Savage Sword of Conan and said that 40-year-old Neil would come home and griped about a Conan movie and then showed him that movie, he would assume I got a lobotomy in the years since.

So for my initial review, I'll try to stick to basics and not get too deep into the details of how it compares to the Robert E. Howard stories, which 11-year-old Neil would have only begun to read.

I recently experimented with a few episodes of Conan the Adventurer. In theory, I was kind of pre-vetting them for Conan to watch when it's age appropriate. The result was somewhat frustrating.

On the one hand, it has too many moments where Conan says things such as "Conan does not steal!" for me to consider it any kind of introduction to Howard's Conan.

On the other, it may be the best children's sword and sorcery I've ever seen. So, I'll almost certainly start him out with those in a few years, before he's ready for Howard books, "Savage Sword" reprints or movie adaptations, but I can still wish there was a less compromised alternative.

That's certainly come to be my adult view of the John Milius movie Conan the Barbarian. The one that 11-year-old Neil did step away from his "Savage Sword" magazines to see and fall in love with.

Trying to decide, as it goes, which of the two, very different, Conan the Barbarians 11-year-old Neil leads to an interesting thought. Milius's movie is a movie aimed at adults. Nispel may very well have been imagining a similar 11-year-old Marcus as his target audience.

And yet if 11-year-old Neil gave an edge to the Milius movie, it would be because of the sense of an epic being created. The story is framed as an origin and everything is done to suggest that this epic will be expanded and Conan's great destiny would be fulfilled.

Howard stated that he told the Conan stories out of chronological order on purpose, that his intention was to mimic the quality of a warrior sitting around the fire recounting his various adventures. As an adult, I much prefer this approach. It fits the quality I most enjoy about the stories very well.

On the surface, the Nispel movie uses the same formula as the Milius movie. It seems de rigueur for such things now. In fact, technically, the entire plot of the story is driven by many of the same ideas and a voice over by Morgan Freeman at the beginning seems to reinforce the idea.

And yet, after the opening sequence, this seems not as driving a point as one would expect. I'm guessing most will count this against the movie, and not without some core logic on their sides.

As an aside, let me mention that Kim and I, on our first extended evening away from our son Conan were quite certainly moved by elements of the opening sequence in ways that the average viewer simply won't be and shouldn't be. For me, having a tall father with a red and grey beard who actually is a blacksmith didn't hurt in connecting some of that together emotionally more than any person with a normal existence wouldn't imagine.

In saying this, I want it noted that no one has more right to expect - Nay, demand! - that the emotions of this sequence get properly carried through.

And I am the one saying, this works better. Yeah, the surface bits say that Conan was an exceptional warrior among his own tribe of Cimmerians and that he is seeking revenge for the wrong done to him, his family and his tribe during the opening.

Yet the tone once the action is in motion is entirely of that of one more adventure undertaken by a man of many adventures. There are some cursory nods to it being personal, but it's never given the energy to resonate. In fact, we're even given examples of adventures that took place in between, including The Tower of the Elephant.

Is Nispel undermining a dictum from On High to tell an origin, a revenge story and a personal story for Conan or is he simply failing to capture a story as it was provided and passed down? From my previous experience with Nispel's work, I'm inclined that it's almost certainly the latter, and yet I enjoy the possibility that it could be the former.

And yet the idea that he succeeded through failure has its appeal as well.

The cast here is terrific. I was even pleased with the cast of characters and extras.

The standouts, however, are a very creepy Rose McGowan and, of course, Jason Momoa, who absolutely owns as Conan.

If there's a single element that may make it difficult to go back to the Milius movie, it's Momoa. Arnold Schwarzenegger has his moments as the sword and sorcery hero named Conan that Milius created.

Momoa, however, looks, and somehow acts, like he stepped out of a John Buscema panel, adapted from a Howard story, even if a bit too "freely" adapted.

If nothing else, I hope this succeeds in order to justify sequels. Possible plot hints on Conan II? and More hints on Conan II express that a second in this series could well be a real adaptation. A genuine Howard story with Momoa back in the lead? I'm there with bells on, kids!

I haven't even begun to consider the complexities of my feelings on this. I'm a big, bad, deep Conan fan with a lot of feelings.

I know Kim and I had a blast spending grown-up time together. And felt even better getting home to our Conan and giving him all the kisses we could!

I think I've spent a lot of time talking around any basic point. Conan the Barbarian: The Conan Movie Blog Review and Movie Review: Conan The Barbarian cover a lot from fairly different perspectives. They're both better considered from a movie review perspective than mine was, for whatever that's worth. I'll definitely have reviews such as these in my mind when I get around to returning to Nispel's Conan. Probably when I buy the Blu-Ray.

UPDATE: I think the answer to the question of whether I "liked" Nispel's Conan the Barbarian came with the help Stephen Bissette, oft mentioned of late. He described it as a "standard issue" of "Savage Sword of Conan" by Buscema, Roy Thomas and Alfredo Alcala.

Having, as noted above, grown up with "Savage Sword", that makes for a perfectly grand movie experience for me.

I suspect people coming at from the perspective of wanting it to be an epic in the nature of The Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones (or my impression, as I've not read the books or seen the series yet) or even Milius's Conan the Barbarian will be setting themselves up for disappointment.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I don't think I prefer that expectation of the epic. There's something about a good old fashion adventure story that I think should be valued substantially more.

Mind you, this is a reiteration of the fact that the origin story/revenge storyline that the movie is structured around is a complete and utter failure.

I'm not sure if that was a producer or executive who was developing it that insisted on that or it was one of the original screenwriters who took it upon themselves.

However, everything that doesn't work in the movie - that has been poorly received by audiences, to the extent it has been and critics - is a direct result of that decision. Whoever that moron was, they fucked this movie commercially.

When that person reads What's it like to have your film flop at the box office? by co-screenwriter Sean Hood, they should think, "That's my fault. I am wholly responsible for the commercial failure of this Conan movie."

(Ok, yeah, I'm sure it was really some kind of dumb committee decision, and no one person should go to bed flagellating themselves over the poor decision making involved in the basic story format. Most likely quite a few people should go to bed flagellating themselves. No one in that group should go to bed feeling relieved or innocent in their part in that failure.)

This probably sounds like I'm continuing to debate my feelings and not settling in, but it's not.

Done correctly, a Conan movie should have been just a terrific fantasy adventure yarn. This was always going to be one of those things that required explaining to others. This is how Conan stories are supposed to be. One tale out of the eventful life of one traveling adventurer.

Framing the story as an origin in which the villain is the target of a years old grudge over the killing of Conan's village and his father...

Just to note - for all who don't know, because it's important - the original stories have no reference at all to Conan taking revenge for the murder of his village or his family. This doesn't exist within his mythology until it was brought in by Oliver Stone and Milius for the Milius movie. This is part of an attempt to shoehorn Conan into an epic character, which is, in fact, antithetical to the basic nature of his stories.

... creates a really big useless counter-argument to have to deal with.

The fact that the movie really does work on the smaller level and fails completely on the larger level will only make that discussion more frustrating for everyone.

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Kirby, Bissette, Shooter, Cap and boycotts

2011-08-09T23:15:00.001-05:00

Honoring A Fallen King, Part 3: What of the Wings of the House That Steve Built? by Stephen Bissette continues and on-going and very interesting discussion of the creation process as part of what Marvel Comics owes to Jack Kirby, morally if nothing else, as I concluded for myself in Goodbye, Marvel.

I want to add one more point regarding this.

Generally, I shy away from boycotts and I'm not sure, for the same reasons, I'm comfortable considering this a boycott.

Boycotts generally "work" when public sentiment has already shifted to the point where the boycotted party was likely to make a change anyway to catch up. Everyone gets to jump on board at the last minute and feel like they participated.

I think fandom has reiterated its true colors in this discussion, and I don't imagine that changing.

Fandom frankly barely tolerates creators themselves. It's a tenuous balance, especially when there exists the possibility of changing companies or even characters. Fandom is nothing if not fickle.

Fandom seems to actively despise heirs. It's an ugly and seemingly deep-seeded reaction that fires off whenever these kinds of disputes come up. It seems as good a reason as any to keep my distance from fandom.

Adding that into a credible way in which fandom will actively curb their own appetites in support of heirs is pretty tough to do. I can't imagine it, and I'm usually pretty good at imagining.

It came to mind this weekend. I was at Half Price Books looking over shelves of Marvel titles, most of which were Kirby creations. I knew I could justify buying them used. I could justify it to someone else, but not to myself.

I could also justify picking up the new Ultimate Spider-Man - stop by Ultimate Spider-Man Bun Toons! YAY! by Ty Templeton for analysis of surrounding controversy - because it's Steve Ditko instead of Kirby.

Whatever, how long until Dr. Doom shows up and I'm officially cheating?

Nah, I think my regular Marvel reading (and viewing and whatnot), outside what's already here at my apartment, is simply over. Probably forever.

I'm sure there's some book or context I can make a legitimate exception for in there, but basically I'm guessing that's it.

It's weird to think.

On the other hand, I then read this series, Storytelling Lecture, Strange Tales by Jim Shooter, and am reminded what Kirby did and how well he did it. I'm sure Shooter - I may or may not have more to say about him one of these days - has no intention of me using this to support a boycott on Marvel for this reason.

But looking over his analysis, that's all I see. I see how much of what Marvel created is built on what Jack did. Not only his characters, his designs, his imagination, but the entire way he told stories.

Open Letter to Dale Fout

2011-07-31T17:00:00.007-05:00

Disagreement over texting at movie theater leads to assault charge by Dave Lieber.

You, Mr. Dale Fout of DFW Advertising, are a piece of crap.

No, really.

You are complete piece of fucking garbage.

Really. You charged a woman with assault for "touching you"?

Well, we can be clear that, one way or the other, you are a complete wuss, but being a wuss hardly makes you a complete piece of garbage, does it?

No.

Hell, even the fact of texting in a movie theater quite makes it to "complete piece of fucking garbage", although it's getting really close.

No, the part where you get to "complete piece of fucking garbage" is when you try to justify it.

"I responded to it because it was something important. It was something that was on a deadline situation."

Why should the other people care about you and your deadlines?

As far as I'm concerned, you and your deadlines can go fuck themselves!

I'm sure the other people who paid money to sit in a darkened theater to see a movie that day also had no reason to care about you or your deadlines. While I'm sure the advertising needs of the clients of DFW Advertising are superimportant to the rest of us, we prefer to go to the movies as a respite from worrying about you and your needs.

Do you really think you should be the only person that matters all the time?

Go fuck yourself! You are a piece of shit.

I certainly hope your name and face is examined so theaters around the country can refuse you service as someone with no respect for the movie-going experience or the experience of other people around you.

I'm tired of fuckwads like you making everyone else's lives unpleasant because you're the king of the fucking world and deserve special consideration and treatment at the expense of the rest of us, who don't deserve our needs to be considered with the same import as yours.

Honestly, it sounds suspiciously like you're a psychopath.

I'm just glad I live here in Austin, where the Alamo Drafthouse knows how to treat your kind. I hope we're able to move toward a world where shitstains like you are shunned or at least shamed into silence.

She texted. We kicked her out. by Tim League.

UPDATE: This one is pretty Old School Neil, in a way I usually try to avoid these days. I'm sure quitting smoking made this a little easier than usual. I might consider toning it down, but really... if anyone deserves to suck up the brunt of my nicotine withdrawal, it's this self-righteous son of a bitch!

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Drive-in

2011-07-31T12:45:00.001-05:00

I can't remember the first place I discovered Joe R. Lansdale. I may have read a short story or two before, and had certainly heard his name around, but the first place I really made note of him was... well, it was either The Drive-In: A 'B' Movie with Blood and Popcorn, Made in Texas or Dead in the West.

I know that I followed him through the years since, from The Magic Wagon to The Nightrunners to The Big Blow to Sunset and Sawdust, not to mention the multitude of short stories and excellent short story collections.

For what it's worth, I actually first read Bubba Ho-tep when I picked up The King Is Dead: Tales of Elvis Postmortem by happenstance one day.

He's one of my favorite writers. In fact, I'd have to say that at this point he'd be the writer my writing would sound way too much like if I were good enough at writing. As such, it's one of those small favors of mediocrity that I don't expect to sound like his voice any day soon.

At one point I upgraded to The Drive-In: A Double-Feature Omnibus and held onto it for years. Despite the first book being a seminal book in my mind, or perhaps in some way because of it, I never got around to reading "The Drive-In 2: Not Just One of Them Sequels".

Now, it's years later, I've moved across the country and I pick up a copy of the less intriguingly titled, but further upgraded The Complete Drive-In, which includes "The Drive-In: The Bus Tour", a much more recent third book.

This time I read the whole way through.

You can find reviews anywhere that will tell you the failings of these, especially the sequels, and yet from where I am today I saw something else.

For one thing, in spite of the separate introductions that describe very different writing experiences, this book works oddly well as one novel. I suspect the "double feature" formula served the second book particularly poorly, its unexpected ending could be a problem for many at the end of the literary equivalent of long night.

On the other hand, here in the middle of a longer novel, it seems only a natural transition to the next stage.

For those still reading this and not knowing what I'm talking about, the "Drive-In" books are about the survivors of a mysterious event at a giant Texas drive-in movie theater. Whether that event was the end of the world or an alien attack or what is a major source of concern, especially through the early parts of the first book.

Concerns of "why?" are quickly lost as the movie-goers struggle to merely survive. Of course Lansdale can't leave them with mere survival. He throws increasingly insane forms of oppression against them as they go on.

At the start, Lansdale seems to nearly despise the characters and goes out of his way to pile harrowing trials upon them, however by the end he seems to have come to admire or at least grudgingly respect them, if for no other reason than their continued determination to survive.

I think there's an insane, cynical out-of-genre perfection to the first book, and there's perhaps an argument to be made that it should have stayed at that.

And yet for me as an older reader who perhaps needs a little larger dose of hope and admiration of survival, there's something I feel good about in this as an extended saga. I'm satisfied.

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Goodbye, Marvel

2011-07-30T00:30:00.012-05:00

Marvel Comics vs Jack Kirby Decision: Marvel Wins by Colleen Doran.

My willingness to purchase Marvel Comics products, especially derived specifically from Jack Kirby creations, has always been something that has made me a little uncomfortable.

Their record is barbaric.

Even if you agree with the courts on the legal issue, they've still stifled his creator credits on books based on characters and ideas that came from his pencil. The movies based on his characters and ideas snuck by with "thank you" credits and even now are praised for a small print credit acknowledging his work in creating the comic books that the stories are based on rather than the characters and ideas themselves.

It seems a sniggling point of difference, but, of course, if was really such a sniggling point, Marvel themselves wouldn't go through so much trouble to make the credits as they're written.

Stephen Bissette suggested a boycott, "In the 1990s, fandom impacted Marvel sales with a loose 'boycott' of Marvel titles over their gouging of the market with multiple covers, etc. Organized vertebrate fandom could deliver a hammer blow to Marvel again, over something of merit and meaning—the Kirby legacy, which informs damn near the whole of Marvel."

I was already there by the time I read that. I think that was the first thing I thought. I tweeted Disgusted by Kirby v. Marvel decision, but that was after calming myself down from writing "Fuck @Marvel!".

But seriously, fuck Marvel!

I could wish I'd come to this after getting to see Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger, but not enough to try to imagine a way to cheat. I'm more glad it came after Kimberly Rae got herself Captain America pajamas than I am disappointed about it coming before I saw those movies, for whatever that's worth.

Honestly, I can't say I believe there's any chance of a boycott working.

If there's anything geeks are good at, it's coming up with excuses to not deny themselves the things they want.

Not to mention there are an awful lot of people like those described (and quoted) in Kirby Lawsuit Dismissed Part 2 by Robert Steibel, "One of the things I’ve never understood is the hatred I’ve seen directed at Jack and his children over the Disney/Marvel vs. Kirby matter. I can understand the feeling that Marvel/Disney legally owns all of Jack’s creations, and I can also understand fans who want to get more Marvel movies and toys so they feared the lawsuit might slow down that process, but I don’t get the ferocious anger I’ve seen directed at Jack’s family on various internet chat sites. It’s almost as if a significant part of the population needs someone to direct their rage at."

Comic book geeks find it easy to choose the corporation over than the human beings that create their favorite characters. In a strange way I think the Stan Lee portrait of the Marvel Bullpen along with the works Kirby himself cranked out made it possible for a corporation to somehow itself be The Source. I can't be bothered to decide if that's ironic.

I hope someone or something helps Marvel see the light and they find a way to make good to the family of the man that every single one of them owes their continuing livelihoods to. That seems more important than me picking up another Black Panther reprint or seeing Thor 2.

I'm not trying to start anything or build anything. I'm just saying that my ability to convince myself I'm comfortable paying what little I have in terms of hard-earned money to spend on such things on people like that.

So, maybe it'll just be nice to have more money for things like this or this or this.

Good-bye, Marvel, don't let the door hit you on your way out.

UPDATE: This is Honoring A Fallen King: What of the House That Jack Built? by Stephen Bissette, following up and organizing the thoughts he's expressed on Facebook, "This also comes down to the messages the Marvel product—comics, movies, etc.—claim to espouse: the need/ability of the individual to turn the tide against enormous odds and massive consolidations of raw power.

"Jack Kirby always, in his life and in his work, trumpeted the power of the INDIVIDUAL to act against power. It was JACK’S message, in all his work: the power of the INDIVIDUAL to CHANGE THE WORLD.

"So, CHANGE THE WORLD, those who grew up reading, loving, enjoying, creating, earning livings from Kirby’s work and all that followed."

UPDATE II: Glad to see this is getting some attention.

Go, Read: Steve Bissette On Jack Kirby And Marvel by Tom Spurgeon.

Steve Bissette Calls For Action Against Marvel Over Jack Kirby Case by Rich Johnston.

Sadly I see too much response which amounts to excuses why not to follow suit. Too many of those excuses seem to focus on it being "just his family". I kind of feel bad for people and their family life that this is their reaction,

But really I just find it sad that Kirby worked so hard and made so many of the compromises he made over the years were for the sake of his family, and now the fans of his work, or at least his creations, dismiss the idea of it being "just" his family that's making claims for the rights to those creations.

That's between those fans and their consciences and their feelings towards families and faceless corporations. I don't care.

My conscience says I should no longer participate in Marvel profiting off the legacy of a man they can't even properly acknowledge.

My conscience says I should no longer participate at all. I shouldn't spend my money, my time or my attention on it.

UPDATE III: The Jack Kirby Trigger by Michael Netzer is a wonderful "reflection on, and support of, Stephen [Bissette]'s call to boycott Marvel."

I've avoided reading comments on this issue. It's not something I feel any reason to consider further than I have, nor do I feel like debating it.

I understand that for others this is an open issue that they're considering or hoping to encourage others to take up.

A year ago I wrote Support Kirby, also in response to comments by Stephen Bissette, and at that time did have some hope of drumming up support, although honestly the waves and waves of apathy at that time had led me to give up, and I'd have myself just gone to Thor if I'd had time and money at the same moments.

Now I'm just resigned.

I couldn't care less if not one other person stops buying Marvel stuff derived from Kirby concepts. Not my deal.

The fact that so many of the arch-corporate "Marvel zombies" attack or at least take cheap shots at Kirby's family, as I expected, only helps my resolve that I'm on the right side. If those people were vocally going on about their support of breathing air, I'd have to question if I was doing the right thing.

So, it only makes me sad to read Bissette post, "I expected John Byrne's stance, but many of the online exchanges about Jack Kirby's legacy reveal bizarre misanthropy, borderline psychosis, and even sociopathic resentment of and for a great man's great works; corporate culture really has sold a toxic bill of goods to a generation, hasn't it? Though everyone has Motherboxes, the Anti-Life Equation has claimed many..."

Indeed, good sir

UPDATE IV: Honoring A Fallen King, Part 2: What of the House That Jack Built? by Stephen Bissette, "The argument that heirs shouldn’t earn from the labors of parent creators is completely and offensively nonsensical bullshit—fortunes, and earnings from ongoing revenue streams, are passed on every day, everywhere. Arguing that real revenue-creating and generating properties like comic book characters/titles/concepts aren’t the same turf is more defeatist horseshit."

I'd like to see more voices join this, but I can't imagine any would be any clearer than Bissette is.

Die, random notes, die!

2011-07-28T21:30:00.002-05:00

There are two reasons I'm annoyed with Blogpourri by Marty McKee.

First, I've been too busy, tired, frustrated, scattered to keep up on writing, so not only did I not make this most wondrous list, but I can't even feel hurt that I didn't.

Second, I've been too busy, tired, frustrated, scattered to keep on reading the blogs I already follow without being told about new ones, but of course if Marty makes suggestions, I have to pay attention and there are several there I'll need to add to my blogroll.

Most importantly is Glorious Trash, "Trawling the depths of forgotten fiction, films, and beyond, with yer pal, Joe Kenney", which is amazing. I'm not sure how I've managed to not read it yet.

I was also too busy, tired, frustrated, scattered to write anything for Racist Images in Classic Films: A Conversation by Kimberly Lindbergs. It's a fascinating subject and I had a whole host of thoughts when I was first invited, but I didn't get them sorted out in time and my Internet wasn't cooperating.

It's a great article at its current length and with Conan being three-and-a-half months old, it may be just as well I didn't butt my head in with what I now only imagine I'll feel once he's old enough for me too be concerned about such issues.

I have been working and watching a ton of Doctor Who. I'm quitting smoking, so spending free time with thinking or anything that doesn't involve staring blankly at flashing lights.

I must confess, I've never watched it until not, in any form, not even the apparently much different non-canon movies with Peter Cushing, despite the fact that they have Peter Cushing.

I've been interested in trying it out for years - even decades - but I've always been unsure where to jump in and finally just figured that the beginning of the recent run was as good a place as any and, well, yep...

I was until a couple days ago at least. The Runaway Bride kinda kicked the crap out of my enthusiasm. That is one seriously shitty episode of television. Yeah, I know comic relief was the way to follow-up the end of series 2, but really!

I am kicking around a new idea. It's not replacing "Gaunt Land", which I'm working on as a comic.

It's a bit inspired by "Doctor Who", although probably not in a way most people would be or would expect. Kimberly Rae are planning to kick ideas around for it soon. When I'm able to act civilized, which I hope will be this weekend.

It was originally more whimsical than it's evolving in my mind. I blame Marty McKee and Joe Kenney.

Seriously, reading these crazy reviews, I can't help wishing that some of these had been adapted as movies, although I suppose none would have made it through that process with their madness intact, but I can't stop imagining Blood For Breakfast, Blood Oath, Death Quest or The Devil's Claw movies.

They're insane!

Someone should create a direct-to-video studio dedicated to those kinds of adaptations. I swear.

For now, suffice it to say, the dreams of these non-existent movies of books I've only planned to read are infecting the whimsical part of my brain and turning it even darker than my imagination usually is.

Perhaps Kim can balance that out... at least a little.

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Return of the son of random note's ghost

2011-07-12T23:15:00.005-05:00

In my last full blown random notes post, Revenge of the random notes, I wrote, "It's been a long time since I've written a full-blown random notes post. I think largely Twitter and Facebook have taken up that need."

That's interesting as social networking is one of the things I want to talk about.

First of all, though, I should warn Greg Ferrara - or should I say "fancy-schmancy Greg Ferrara, Movie Morlock"? (And congratulations again on that, man!) - that if he doesn't get on his post about giving up on DVD collecting that he suggests he wants to write in the comments for Death of a packaging junkie by fancy-schmancy Richard Harland Smith, Movie Morlock or he'll find himself commenting on my post on the subject.

Anyway, I'm not sure about Google+. I hear people getting excited about it, but I'm not sure...

I got an invitation - Thanks, Jordan! - and I've poked around, although just a little, and I'm not sure why I should care.

I've been dragged around social networks a lot. I joined Friendster, which was boring. I went on to Myspace, which was amusing enough for a bit, but seemed lacking.

Facebook seemed - seems - to have the basic functionality that made social networking make sense. I'm not without complaints, although I'm not among those who seems to find complaining about Facebook to be their favorite Facebook activity. But ultimately, it had what it took and I felt - feel - settled there.

And the most important reason for that is that everyone came to Facebook. All of the Myspace hold-outs eventually made, along with my mom and about everyone else it was important to me to share my life with, family, friends and people I want to associate with.

A lot of people, notably in my notice is Victor Gischler, seem to be excited about it, and it may have made some minor improvements in functionality, but without all of the people it seems pointless, and I don't see any of the improvements mentioned to be enough to uproot most people?

Video chat? Yeah... The fact that Facebook wants to assume I want available for chat to be my default is on my list of complaints. I rarely want to chat online and I never, ever want to video chat!

(Ok, if you don't tell anybody else, I'd probably video chat with my mom just to see if I could get Conan to do cute stuff for her, although he's probably too ornery.)

Anyway, I've been reading The Complete Drive-In by Joe R. Lansdale. First of all, I love Lansdale. He's at the top of some list of writers I'd write too much like if I were any good at imitation.

(I reckon it's good I'm not good at imitation, Lansdale is better at being Lansdale than I could ever hope to be. I'm happy with what I do being the things it turns out to be that's its own curious beast, I promise.)

I've read through the first two novels, "The Drive-In: A 'B' Movie with Blood and Popcorn, Made in Texas" and "The Drive-In 2: Not Just One of Them Sequels", and I'm hoping to write up a longer post on the trilogy soon.

Mostly, though, as well as being inspiring to me creatively, Lansdale's notes reminded me I need to get on a writing schedule. All of my successfully completed writing projects have involved me getting on a writing schedule. And all of the things and times I've dawdled and gotten nowhere - being most of the times - were ones I didn't do that.

I may even include a specific blogging schedule as well, as I think that is positive for my writing overall, just for consolidating thoughts, even if it doesn't get my writing writing done.

Now, however, I have Gaunt Land ideas piling up in my head and hopefully a meeting soon with Niza Noxx, who I've been talking about collaborating with on doing it as a comic book, so I need to get myself rocking.

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Star Wars revisited

2011-07-02T16:15:00.002-05:00

I've apparently written about Star Wars enough that I'm out of classic familiar posters, so I'm going to this from Trippy Vintage Hungarian Star Wars Posters. They're pretty dang awesome, huh?

But hopefully not too distracting from my point.

A while ago I wrote an Open letter to George Lucas discussing how I'll introduce my son Conan to Star Wars. At that time I was leaning heavily toward Star Wars: The Original Radio Drama, and that's still a strong contender.

However, when I do introduce him to the actual movie, at this point, I expect it will be Star Wars: Revisited.

Sure, like any good geek, I'll be picking up Star Wars: The Complete Saga and taking a look at it. I expect I'll stick with the Blu-ray of The Empire Strikes Back for the image quality, as I have no significant complaints with the current version.

Return of the Jedi, in my opinion the least (and most frustrating) of the six movies, will be the trickiest, but some of the Fan Edit folks seem to be on the right track, so I'll have to experiment with that. I expect to start with Return of the Jedi: The Spence Final Cut, which sounds like it addresses the majority of concerns I have, including the generally popular opening sequence.

Unfortunately, the most basic fact that it's action climax merely replicates all the beats from Star Wars is impossible to correct.

As far as Star Wars: Revisited, it does all of the things you'd expect. The most obvious are the concerns I noted previously. In fact, the Mos Eisley sequence, which I said was one of the things improved in the "special edition" stands out as a great improvement over either official version, leaving in the larger scope and more bustle of the "special edition" version while removing the distraction of CGI creatures wildly moving in front of the lead characters and cutting most of the broad comedy bits added.

The Jabba scene is removed and, yes, Han Solo shoots first.

I have to say that not having watched the original scene in some time, it's kind of dull and too fast.

In a generous mood, I might think Lucas added the "Greedo shoots first" in order to create some suspense and action. Mind you, the new version, even the slightly improved 2004 DVD version, doesn't fix that, and it detracts from our understanding of Han as a character.

This version also tries, only somewhat awkwardly, to give Chewbacca his medal in the final scene, among any number of other re-edits.

I think the most obvious to the average viewer would b the lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader. Anyone who has returned to this movie has discovered how slow and poorly choreographed this sequence it. Not only in comparison to the elaborate high-energy lightsaber battles in the prequels made 20 years later, but also in comparison to somthing like The Adventures of Robin Hood from 40 years earlier. Presumably time and budget constraints were an issue with choreographing a proper scene and working out the details of making the effect work.

The re-editing here attempts to make up for that, speeding up the paces, etc., to play a little closer to what we'd expect from such a sequence.

Unfortunately, it doesn't really work. There's simply not enough there to work with. And the sequence ultimately stands on the gravitas of Alec Guinness and the power of Dave Prowse in that iconic Ralph McQuarrie/Brian Muir costume with the power of James Earl Jones voice. In the original version that basically works, even if not as well as one would hope, but by speeding it up, it feels like some part of that is lost.

I also wasn't entirely happy with the color correction through all of it. In places it had an overadjusted look that made some scenes look mildly like they were colorized.

I found far less to complain about than I did to praise, however. Including nice bits such as including sound effects from the original mono mix and bits of dialogue from the radio drama. I'm comfortable with this as my preferred version of the movie. There are few radical changes, as few were needed, but it finds a nice middle ground between the original theatrical version and the "special edition".

It kind of brought me back to my love of this movie. It's funny, but in this world of sequels, prequels and Expanded Universe, it's sometimes hard to remember what a simple, straight-forward adventure that first movie is.

On the other hand, I wondered how well it would have held the test of time as a single movie. Concepts like The Force, without the development of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, feels in 2011 like it would have felt like a dopey product of the '70s and would seem to date the movie on its own more than it does as part of the larger version.

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13 assassins

2011-06-25T23:00:00.001-05:00

13 Assassins by Takashi Miike is a remake of the 1963 movie The Thirteen Assassins by Eiichi Kudo, which I have not seen. Among his upcoming movies is a remake of Harakiri, the 1962 classic by Masaki Kobayashi, which I have seen, but not in quite some time.

I'm told Miike feels something is wrong in modern Japanese moviemaking that he hopes to fix by going back to older styles, in this case chambara or Samurai movies. I must say that my experience is that Japanese cinema, at least what I see imported here, is among the most exciting in modern cinema, and I'd include Miike's work high among the reasons for that. However if this "back to basics" approach will lead to more movies like this, then bring that on as well.

Miike certainly takes it seriously and does an excellent job with the material. The movie could almost have been from an earlier era. The pacing of the build-up of the story, the choices of shots, even the way the majority of the action is staged has a classic feel.

But what struck me the most isn't those similarities, perhaps because I'd been prepared for them by previous reviews. No, what struck me is that it seemed to be saying something different in the telling than I've previously seen.

Samurai movies traditionally extol the responsibility of a Samurai to be Samurai. The ones that take place in the twilight of the days of the Samurai traditionally eulogize the passing age. Here Miike seems to be welcoming the freedom that comes with the new age. I wouldn't say it's a celebration at all, in fact the movie carries a heaviness from beginning to end, but it does seem to see the coming era as something of a well-earned rest.

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Mystery of the phantom flame

2011-06-25T16:30:00.002-05:00

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame by Tsui Hark is a very interesting movie. It stars Andy Lau in an entertainly quirky performance as legendary Chinese figure Di Renjie, most famous in the west as the protaganist of the fictionalized Judge Dee mysteries written by Robert van Gulik.

This story, however, is apparently taken from a novel by Lin Qianyu. It takes place around the courtroom at the time of the coronation of Wu Zetian, China's first (and only) female emperor.

The trouble for me is that I can't help seeing a rather ambivalent statement being made about the People's Republic of China - or perhaps about British rule of Hong Kong - and I don't know enough about either the historical period being covered or the internal politics of modern China well enough to understand what that statement might be, outside expressing some ambivalence.

Too often I don't bother to write about movies such as this that I'm knowledgeable enough to know I'm not knowledgeable enough to give as complete a review as the movie deserves. I'm trying to make more exceptions to that, and this seems like as good a choice as any.

Viewed as just a movie, it's terrifically entertaining. Lacking the knowledge of any Chinese literary tradition for Di that Lin and Tsui may be drawing from, it plays much like my best imaginings of what Guy Ritchie take on Sherlock Holmes, which I've still not seen, would be like.

It's an action movie, with action choreography by the great Sammo Hung, as well an historical epic and a mystery. Lau's Di is wise and quirky. He's released from prison by still regent Wu to solve the deaths of two men who are burned alive from the inside, as her coronation approaches.

I'm sure some of my fellow movie geeks will think there's too much CGI in the realization of the world of the time, but for me it played fine, creating a fantastic colorful world in which all of this takes place.

Apparently Tsui is working on a prequel. It's hard to imagine it won't be something of an anti-climax after the scope of this one, but then I enjoyed Lau's characterization and Tsui's style with it enough that I'll definitely make th effort to find it.

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Solomon Kane

2011-06-12T14:30:00.001-05:00

If Solomon Kane by Michael J. Bassett had been a Solomon Kane rip-off, such Van Helsing by Stephen Sommers, I'd have guessed that Bassett was well qualified to make a solid adaptation...

... and I'd have been wrong, it would seem.

At least partly.

Unfortunately, screenwriter Bassett made a mess that the solid instincts of director Bassett couldn't quite clean up.

Now, Kane is my favorite Robert E. Howard fantasy character, Dark Agnes de Chastillon of Sword Woman having no fantasy elements in her completed Howard yarns, so I should be pretty set in my ways about how his character was handled. However, enough time had passed and enough reviews had set my expectations in order that I was ready to view this movie for what it is.

As a Kane adaptation, it's flat-out embarrassing, let's be clear on that. It adapts no Howard story, despite the stories being much richer and more dramatic than the story told here. It grafts an origin onto Kane that makes little sense. It turns him from a Puritan of complete faith into an Anglican (or a Catholic or some other vagary) in clothing made for him by Puritans, who is reformed from a life of piracy and evil by a visit from a manifestation of the Devil's reaper and dresses in Puritan clothing made for him by a Puritan family.

As a viewer prepared for this to fail as an adaptation, none of this would necessarily have mattered. Unfortunately, even it's own twist on the fate of Kane's soul would have been vastly more ironic and meaningful if it had left out the idea of Kane as a pirate and scoundrel. Ultimately, the idea of a hero who acts heroically out of a sense of a good greater than himself simply proved a challenge that writer Bassett wasn't courageous enough to try to tackle, so he lazily shackled him with "dark" history.

Until about the time of that revelation through the ending, though, it's a good movie. Like I said, I'd have guessed that Bassett, untethered from the lazy back story that challenges this movie, could have made a solid, entertaining Kane adaptation. The mood is well set, the acting is good all around, and the action is well-staged. Not to mention, it looks great.

I'm almost tempted to recommend it as a bad adaptation/solid ripoff. As the movie stands, with, as noted, a major revelation weakened by the needless desire to turn a hero into an antihero, presumably to be more "cool", and an anti-climatic final battle and an overlong final voice over monologue, I can't quite.

However, if you're still tempted, it's not a ride without any value.

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Clone Wars and inspiration

2011-06-01T17:00:00.003-05:00

I've expressed my enthusiasm for Star Wars: The Clone Wars before. I'm only liking it more and more as I watch it and consider it.

As I, semi-idly at this moment, ponder the needs of potentially developing Gaunt Land as an independent serial, it's an interesting point of reference.

First of all, I like the way it moves around it's own continuity without necessarily being chronological.

Secondly, I like the idea of being placed between to points of continuity. I'm more intrigued possibly placing it between to non-existant points, which actually more resembles the way the Original Trilogy was when I when I was growing up.

Although I also rather enjoy "The Clone Wars" from a similar perspective, despite not being among those who wish to dismiss the prequels out of hand generally.

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A brief apology

2011-05-25T18:00:00.001-05:00

In March, Max Allan Collins sent me, along with a number other people, advance copies of his upcoming books, Kiss Her Goodbye, completed from a manuscript by Mickey Spillane, No One Will Hear You, written with Matthew Clemens, and Antiques Knock-Off, written with his wife Barbara Collins under the pseudonym Barbara Collins. My role in this exchange was, of course, to review these books.

With working and the complication in Kim's pregancy and such, it took me longer than I expected to read "Kiss Her Goodbye", but I did and reviewed it here.

I'm actually quite intrigued by both the other books.

The decription of "No One Can Here You" intrigues me:

The first video arrives by email, featuring an unidentified man and a naked woman. Her scream is caught in a freeze frame. The producers of TV's Crime Seen! can't believe what they're witnessing - and all-out sadist 'auditioning' for a starring role in reality television. And if he doesn't get it, he'll kill again. To meet the demented demands of the self-proclaimed 'Don Juan', former sheriff and TV host J.C. Harrow has no choice but to spotlight him along with another ruthless maniac who has captivated millions of viewers. Now two killers are locked in a bloodthirsty competition, for fame; for notoriety; and for victims.

And I grew up with my mother, so parlor mysteries hold a special place in my heart and I've been meaning to try out the Barbara Allan books for a while, especially since I might then be able to recommend them to her, although certainly for my own entertainment as well.

Unfortunately, despite not working, it seems like since Conan arrived, I have less time than ever and have simply not been able to give the second two books the attention they deserve.

But they're way up on my list of priorities.

I do want to say I'm sorry to Mr. Collins, however, for the delay between the time I received those copies and now and I still don't have proper reviews. I will complete and review them soon.

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Moonrunners

2011-05-24T17:15:00.000-05:00

I grew up with The Dukes of Hazzard. It ran from 1979 until 1985. I don't think I was watching by the end either, but during it's peak, I watched it religiously.

Of course, going back to it as an adult was not nearly as successful. Overall, the show is kind modulated to a median 12-year-old viewer.

So I was very excited to learn of Moonrunners, a movie that was a direct predecessor to "The Dukes of Hazzard". Unfortunately, knowing didn't help as much as one might expect, because the home video history of Moonrunners is that there essentially is no home videos of it out there.

To go back to the beginning of the popular moonshining movie, we really should note Thunder Road with Robert Mitchum. I assume there were movies about moonshining prior to that, but I think it set the standard for what this minor subgenre would be, especially its protaganist being a bootlegger rather than a law enforcement agent.

The only major step forward future movies would make from Thunder Road is in the chases, which would be moved away from the staged look of these into something much more spectacular.

Burt Reynolds would be a key figure in the renaissance of this subgenre with White Lightning and its sequel Gator about a former moonshiner named Gator McKlusky.

It was before either of these that Gy Waldron recorded a series of conversations with Jerry Rushing about his youth as a bootlegger with his his brother Johnny and Uncle Worley. The conversations, and most likely Waldron's intentions, precede White Lightning, but it seems likely the success of that movie greased some wheels and opened some pocketbooks for another movie about moonshiners.

Between the time of White Lightning and Gator, he turned those recollections into a fictional movie, Moonrunners.

In the movie Jerry and Johnny Rushing became cousins Bobby Lee and Grady Hagg, Uncle Worley became Uncle Jesse. Kiel Martin played Bobby Lee as the lead. James Mitchum, son of Robert Mitchum, already a co-star with his father in Thunder Road, played Grady. Arthur Hunnicutt played the wise Uncle Jesse.

Waylon Jennings narrated and sang the key songs of the movie, most prominently Slow Rollin' Low.

In 1977, Reynolds returned with Smokey and the Bandit, which was one of those breakout successes. First of all, its ingenious plot is at its core a romantic comedy that takes place during an extended car chase. Having been executed with a charming cast and tight script, it was a demographic dream and an enormous hit far-reaching cultural moment.

Aside from the dream plot, the plot was set-up to appeal to a wider audience. Instead of carrying moonshine, they were packing a truckload of Coors beer, which was technically illegal, but nothing that many in a mainstream audience had any feelings about. The CB Slang and Southern Culture elements are light and feel as close as can be to universal as can be, making them for a short time something of a fad.

Also this one leaped forward from the previous of the '70s moonshine movies in its music. Moonrunners had a number of songs, mostly by Jennings, and Gator had The Ballad of Gator McKlusky by Jerry Reed, who also played the villain in the movie, but nothing matched the enthusiasm and pure driving force of Reed's "East Bound and Down" that propelled Smokey and the Bandit.

I'm not sure when Waldron began developing his conversations with Rushing into a TV series. It may have already begun before the success of Smokey and the Bandit, however it seems certain that Smokey and the Bandit made such a series more appealing to a network, and the elements from Moonrunners that stayed and which were altered seem almost certainly to have been influenced by that success.

First of all, Jennings returned from Moonrunners to narrate, however this time instead of nice, appealing country songs, there's a very specific, hard driving theme song in much the spirit of "East Bound and Down".

The setting, Hazzard County, was taken out of the sleazy, grimy Dirty South of Moonrunners and into something more akin to a somewhat corrupt version of Mayberry.

George Ellis's seemingly Sid Haig inspired peformance as county boss/bootlegger Jake Rainey was transformed into Sorrell Booke's broader, seemingly Jackie Gleason inspired performance as county boss/former bootlegger Jefferson Davis Hogg. Bruce Atkins's competent and world-weary Sheriff Rosco Coltrane following Rainey's in order to make up for his lack of a pension after 30 years of service became James Best's rather mean-sprited Rosco P. Coltrane, which would evolve into a bumbling, baffoonish caricature as the first season went on.

Martin's Bobby Lee and Mitchum's Grady becomes John Scheider and Tom Wopat's Bo and Luke Duke respectively. Their car, like Rushing's, was named Traveler, after Traveller, the horse of General Robert E. Lee. The TV version is the altogether less subtle General Lee with its Stars and Bars paint job and horn that plays Dixie.

Although the connections to the South are more overt on the series, they're specifically overplayed to the point of cartoonishness, rendering it innocuous instead of threatening.

Moonrunners is a more serious affair, although watching it I'm not sure if it entirely intends to be. There are scenes that are aimed at broad comedy and others that seem to want us to get a real feel for the characters and their inner plight.

At this point, I'm not sure that Moonrunners is better than "The Dukes of Hazzard", but I do think the more realistic venue and cast of characters is more compelling. It could have been the pilot to an eventual series that would be much more interesting to return to as an adult than "The Dukes of Hazzard" has ever turned out to be.

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False

2011-05-21T23:15:00.002-05:00

"But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only."

-- Matthew 24:36

"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves."

-- Matthew 7:15

"A man's pride shall bring him low: but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit."

-- Proverbs 29:23

Please don't confuse this with a religious message, but I do want to take one moment to note that it's strange to me that people spend years searching for hidden messages in a document without bothering to take note of the messages that are in plain sight.

Despicable

2011-05-21T16:30:00.003-05:00

As a brand new father, and one who still only gets intermittent sleep, I can only say Despicable Me pushed all of my buttons relentlessly. Will I feel the same after I'm more used to my new status or gotten my brain in order? Who knows?

I also just got passed You just broke your child. Congratulations. by Dan Pearce, which is a pretty amazing article about fatherhood. I've long been committed to the kind of father I want to be, but it's always good to see someone else out there with whom I share the views, especially with the remarkable (and surprising) number of people with dissenting ideas.

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Death match

2011-05-21T01:30:00.003-05:00

In my post Death race, I gave Death Race by Paul W. S. Anderson a kind of passing grade based on the competent action direction and solid acting, but was frustrated that it never attempted to be more than a competent action movie with solid acting.

For whatever it's worth, I feel close to the opposite about Death Race 2 by Roel Reiné. It's a bit generically overdirected, and in a way that generally obfuscates the action. The acting is still competent, but not as compelling, especially lead Luke Goss suffers in comparison to Jason Statham.

Not to mention actresses Tanit Phoenix and Lauren Cohan bring down the average. There must be some actresses that can play onscreen as kind of generically "hot" who can also act, mustn't there? And, as a sidenote regarding the female characters, why in a movie that makes such an effort to have an ethnically diverse cast of characters for the racers, are all of the women white (not to mention, vaguely interchangeable)?

On the other hand, it seems much more willing to embrace the trashy New World Pictures vibe begun in the original Death Race 2000.

It doesn't near the brilliant insanity of original screenwriter Charles B. Griffith and director Paul Bartel, and while I'd guess that Death Race 2 screenwriters Anderson and Tony Giglio imagine that this movie follows up on the satire of Griffiths script, I'm not sure any of the satire ultimately holds much bite.

It's sure a step in the right direction, though. I enjoyed this crazy mess a lot, probably more than I ought to have. This is definitely closer to what I'd like to see more movies out there attempt.

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Piranha 3-D

2011-05-16T01:30:00.001-05:00

Let me say now, I'm probably more likely, on given day, to watch 1978's Piranha than I am to watch Jaws.

It might be because the seminal nature of Jaws gives it more baggage going in. Or it might actually be that because of a number of factors, including my age, I saw Piranha first, so it's more seminal to me.

Roger Corman, previously noted as My idol, commissioned Piranha, surprisingly late in the game, as a rip-off of Jaws. With a screenplay by John Sayles and directed by Joe Dante, both on the verge of great things, the movie turned out surprisingly above what one would expect from a low-budget ripoff on nearly every level.

Piranha 3-D is, for what it's worth, more ripoff than remake itself. Alexandre Aja, presumably having burned out much of the goodwill he had after the surprise international success of Haute Tension, directs this bit of knowing silliness seemingly with that in mind, beginning with a Jaws homage of sorts, complete with Richard Dreyfuss. The scene isn't much, just hanging there as a reference and little more.

There are any number of issues one could make, the least of which would be the shifting tone, which seemed less confidently teasing and more confused. Not to mention, the Jerry O'Connell looking pretty haggard as the Joe Francis stand-in - parody? - in the rather obvious Girls Gone Wild subplot.

The fact is, the movie doesn't really have a story until about an hour - or two-thirds of the movie - in, and not because it's flaunting a creative disinterest in "proper" movie storytelling, it just flat bogs down in a lot of detail over a story that should have moved along like a freight train.

The one thing I have to unabashedly appreciate is the sheriff played by Elisabeth Shue. Not only does she do an excellent job with the part, the writing avoids giving her a number of the pitfalls that similar characters in movies often get. Frankly, a similar movie that put that character solidly in the lead might have worked.

As it is, I found it tolerable, but I'm not even sure how much of that was due to pretty low expectations going in.

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Red

2011-05-11T07:45:00.000-05:00

Red by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner is a remarkably simple bit of comic book storytelling.

It would have most likely been possible to complicate it just enough to make a feature movie with the same lean, mean and ultra-violent feel, and I have to admit I probably would have enjoyed that movie more than I did the movie they ultimately made. Of course, that movie would have required skills that are incredibly rare in American moviemaking these day, not to mention, it almost certainly wouldn't have been as commercially viable as the movie they made.

Red by Robert Schwentke goes in a much different direction, making it into a more expectedly complicated spy movie Over-the-Hill Gang, which isn't a bad thing in itself.

The screenplay seems to have borrowed a bit from Ellis's Crooked Little Vein, not in tone, which is, if anything darker than "Red", but simple the world of politics it inhabits, although I could be reading too much into that.

There's something there, be it the remnants of the original comic book or just the incredibly talented and game case, that feels like it could have been, even should have been, better than the movie turns out to be.

Bruce Willis is solid and charmismatic, although his character is saddled with a largely unnecessary and perfunctory romantic relationship with Mary-Louise Parker. Morgan Freeman is good, as always, but seems to have been included merely as some kind of extended in-joke.

John Malkovich is somewhat cast to type as the paranoid and not altogether there former CIA agent, but he gives it a great go. Brian Cox, in his second movie named "Red" in two years (after the excellent revenge drama Red by Lucky McKee and Trygve Allister Diesen), is also in excellent form.

Aside from a cameo role by Ernest Borgnine, the best thing in the movie, however, is Helen Mirren. She's just a delight, capturing the perfect tone of humor and gravity to make her character believable and the story move forward. I think someone should leap on the opportunity and turn her into an action star for the new century, or at least beef her role up considerably for the sequel.

And I'll undoubtedly show up for a sequel. Sure, it falls short of greatness, despite my having some sense that in this case that is a failure, but it's a lot of fun.

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Pronouncing Conan

2011-05-10T13:15:00.004-05:00

Stills & Analysis of the Conan the Barbarian Trailer, Part 4 by Al Harron, linked in my updated Conan trailer post, addresses the pronunciation of the name of Conan of Cimmeria.

"I’ve seen more than a few comments on the internet which are dismayed that the pronunciation doesn’t match that of the 1982 film, but this is another occasion where Conan the Barbarian was inaccurate. Conan’s pronunciation is, and always was (until 1982), meant to be pronounced the same way you pronounce it for other peoples with the name: emphasis on the first syllable, not the second. It should be pronounced as one would say 'bowman' or 'omen,' or other Gaelic names like Ronan or Logan, as opposed to 'no man,' 'whoa ma’am,' or 'go Nan.' Thus, the Conan in Conan the Barbarian, Arthur Conan Doyle, Conan O’Brien, Saint Conan, Duke Conan of Brittany and Detective Conan would all be pronounced more or less the same way."

I agree. When Kimberly Rae and I were deciding on names, we agreed on Conan, and, as I've noted, after Conan of Cimmeria, we never considered the latter pronunciation.

And, yes, I considered Robert E. Howard. As Harron also notes, in One Who Walked Alone by Novalyne Price Ellis says Howard pronounced the name "'CAW-nin,' rhyming with 'lawn in'", however Kim and I agree - and she was raised in Texas small towns - that is basically the lazy Texas accent version of "COH-nun".

Ultimately, unlike the preceding Kull of Atlantis stories, the Conan stories were written so that the fictional nations and cultures are transparently based on an historical nation or culture. This is something that some schools of criticism hold against them, although I can't say I agree. In this, the Cimmerian culture from which Conan comes is based on the Celts, surely in some part because of Howard's great pride in his own Irish heritage. As such, it's clear that Howard intended Conan to be named the Irish name Conan, and it's pronunciation should fit that tradition.

Mind you, even I thought "cone-ANN" was the correct pronunciation for the Cimmerian, I may have considered pronouncing my son's name "COH-nun", just because that's the way it's pronounced as a name.

I do feel the need to note that the "cone-ANN" pronunciation preceded 1982's Conan the Barbarian. It was pretty well established, in my experience, in the Marvel Comics age. If anything the movie is confused about how to pronounce the name, as movies about The Three Musketeers are all confused how to pronounce d'Artagnan.

I'm not sure if "cone-ANN" came from the rhythm one tends toward in saying Conan the Barbarian or if it's simply the inclination to pronounce the names of fantasy characters to sound "fantastic" rather than real world.

I do hope that the new Conan the Barbarian does use the correct pronunciation consistently and perhaps will help bring that into the public conciousness as correct, although I can't imagine it won't be anything but a slow process.

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Mearth & Mindy

2011-05-06T13:45:00.004-05:00

Sometimes random ideas just pop into my head.

In this case, I was looking at Conan and noticing how much like an old man he can be. I'm certainly not the first person to make that connection.

What occured to me was an idea for a Mork & Mindy reunion.

In it, you cast Robin Williams as Mearth. Yes, I know he's actually older now than Jonathan Winters was in 1981, but since Winters always played as older - Face it, that's why he was cast! - and Williams can easily play as younger still, I think it would play fine.

You cast a preteen as an aging Mork, his faculties slowly leaving him. You get someone like Bobcat Goldthwait, who wouldn't be afraid to look at the dark or potentially taboo side of the situation and the Jocastan emotions it could bring up.

The whole thing works not only as the only real way you could do a reunion in continuity, but since a "Mork & Mindy" reunion is hardly something the universe has been calling out for. But as it also works nicely as a metaphor for marriages where one spouse becomes enfeebled while the other remains an active adult, I think it could actually be touching and funny.

And could almost justify the fourth season of the show.

Yes, I totally just took the time to write about an unfilmable movie based on a largely forgotten continuity point in a 30-year-old TV show. That's what I did.

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The birth of my son

2011-05-06T00:30:00.003-05:00

It's baby Conan and Hot Stuff. Dark Horse take note.

Conan Daigorō Levon Sarver was born on April 16, 2011 at 1:50am. He was 7 pounds 14 ounces, 22 inches.

If you ask Kimberly Rae why we added the third name, she'll say...

If you ask me why, I'll say...

It's not much of a disagreement.

Kim was admitted to the hospital two times prior to the last time, and that last time left us there a week.

The whole thing left me physically and emotionally exhausted, both from the endurance tests of the experience as well as the amazing joy.

He is the most amazing little human I've ever seen and I want to smile every time I look at him. I also want to hold him and just absorb him into me, if say, that made any logical sense.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Everyone tells you how much you'll love your newborn child, and I was as prepared as one could be for that. In fact, there'd been months of discussion and anticipation leading up to the event.

What no one prepared me for is how overwhelmingly it would raise my feeling for Kim. Just watching her go through those months of pregnancy and the hours and hours of the birth process was just tremendous. I tear up just thinking of all she went through to bring our son into the world. I can only hope anything I do in the lifetime of fatherhood and partnerdom will live up to all of that.

I love her more now than I ever had any clue one human being could love another before.

I'm still overwhelmed and exhausted, if you want to know. Trying to comprehend what I've experienced, even less trying to put it into words seems like something for the future.

I promise I'll say more about my family and our life in the days to come.

What I know is that I'm determined to be good for my family, as best I can.

Sometimes that comes out in terms of wanting to be as responsible as I can be. Others it comes to a passion to protect Kim and Conan against anyone and everyone I conceive as a threat of any kind.

Most, though, I just want to spend every possible moment with them and share every possible bit of joy I have with them. I want to learn who he turns out to be. Of course some of that is going to be determined by my guidance and I hope I'm up to the task of doing it properly.

But I want to see, outside of that, who he turns out to be. I want to continue watching as his personality and interests develop.

I can't wait to share his life and watch it unfold with Kim. I'm very excited for all three of us.

Conan trailer

2011-05-05T18:00:00.008-05:00

The teaser trailer for the upcoming Conan the Barbarian came and went, and the reactions from nearly everyone was... well, a vague sense of embarrassment.

For the Robert E. Howard fan it was particularly disheartening. After years of adaptations made on the cheap and put in the public conciousness as half-assed, the fact of this movie looking exactly like one more in that streak. It was possibly more distressing that the given fact that they're giving him a new origin, or rather a kind of retelling of the John Milius/Oliver Stone origin.

Of course, the original Conan the Barbarian, which I'm a huge fan of, managed to make a number of "facts" about Conan out there, where many assume they are inherently true, or at least best. Another successful one could further cement those "facts" or create new ones.

So, what does the new trailer suggest...

It's... better.

It's... not embarrassing.

And it seems to be clear that Marcus Nispel lacks the kind of vision that Milius brought that made such an iconic piece of cinema. In fact, let's be clear with Nispel picked and Ratner as the previous frontrunner, it seems clear that the producers specifically wanted to avoid anyone with any compelling cinematic vision. They wanted someone who could point a camera at the script they presented.

So, the question becomes less how this will be in itself as a work of cinema and more how it will suffice as an opening of a franchise. This post, Possible plot hints on Conan II, suggests it may even be possible that the next installment will be - of all things - a real Robert E. Howard adaptation.

Maybe the question is less how much will I like this, as I'm likely to be as annoyed by it as I am pleased.

I'll admit Jason Momoa is growing on me as Conan. He's not my ideal. I said before that I think Robert Mitchum comes as close as I can imagine a movie star. My friend Ian McDowell suggested Sean Connery, who is admittedly more accurately Celtic.

On the other hand, he does convey the stealthy, animal like physique that Howard described, or close enough, while capturing a quality of the scowl from familiar Frank Frazetta or John Buscema portrayals.

Not to mention, while it's hard in places to read between the lines with the fast editing, it appears the "sorcery" could be more accurately of an Eldritch nature, or more familiarly Lovecraftian, than previous adaptations, so perhaps a real adaptation could feel more natural following this one.

I'm far from sold, but I'm a step or two less skeptical than I had been. I'm just not sure if that's a good thing or not yet.

UPDATE: Some other thoughts:

Stills & Analysis of the Conan the Barbarian Trailer, Part 1. Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, which addresses the correct pronunciation of the name of the character (as well as my son), Part 5 and Final Analysis of the Conan the Barbarian Trailer by Al Harron.

Watch: Jason Momoa and Rachel Nichols keep it hot in Conan the Barbarian by Drew McWeeny.

Theatrical Trailer For Conan the Barbarian Remake Released by Eric Eisenberg.

And Derek Hill reminds me on Twitter that I forgot to note the verisimilitude that is one of the greatest strengths of Milius's Conan the Barbarian and quite probably its strongest connection to Howard's original stories. This movie seems to have gone in a more modern stylized approach that I'm not convinced by.

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Kiss her goodbye

2011-04-12T16:15:00.001-05:00

I think The Goliath Bone and The Big Bang, the first two Mike Hammer novels begun by Mickey Spillane and completed after his passing by Max Allan Collins, with Spillane's blessing, are two of the best Hammer novels I've read. I'm sorry I never got around to writing more on them.

"The Goliath Bone" was intended as the final Hammer story and bookends nicely with the first novel, I, the Jury. "The Big Bang" is a crazy, in the best sense, groovy lost '60s novel that Spillane put aside.

So, I was very excited to get a copy of Kiss Her Goodbye, the lost '70s novel that Collins completed. Not only had I thoroughly enjoyed the previous novels, the lack of a '70s Hammer novel seems an odd hole. It seems like Hammer belonged in the '70s somewhere, perhaps in part because I grew up with the Stacy Keach version of Hammer that was only a small step removed from the '70s.

"Kiss Her Goodbye" takes place between 1970's Survival... Zero! and 1989's The Killing Man. Exactly where, I'm not sure. The events of "Survival... Zero!" are referred to as a year previous, seeming to set it in the early '70s and yet a variety of other details including "Club 52", which I can only interpret as a (too obvious) analog for Studio 54, seemed to set it in the Disco era of the late '70s.

I have a feeling that I would have enjoyed this one more on a single lazy Sunday afternoon or up late with the audiobook, again read by Keach, as I did with The Big Bang. I suspect those kinds of sniggling details would have drifted past me with little to no notice.

But I didn't have that luxury right now. I read it mostly one chapter at a time, as my busy schedule permitted, and those kinds of things did creep up and bother me. It was more than a compelling enough read to keep me coming back for the next, but ultimately it was my least favorite of these new books. The mystery wasn't as intriguing as I'd hope, despite its complexity, and the cast of supporting characters weren't as interesting, not to mention the solution seemed a bit rushed to me.

That said, I do certainly hope Collins continues to update these manuscripts and publishers keep publishing them, because somehow I'm comforted knowing that Hammer lives on even after Spillane's passing, and I'm still finding these enjoyable.

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The future

2011-04-10T20:45:00.001-05:00

I'm still thinking about webcomics, independent serial and whatnot. Been working at thinking about it more in fact.

It seems like none of these things have really broken out yet. I keep expecting something to, even within some minor circle that I touch into, but it never seems to happen.

Every once in a while some buzz will come that an online story is coming and yet they must come and go, because I never even hear they're around, at least until I remember to seek them out.

More and more people are watching and reading and whatnot online, so someone should have managed it. Is it because no one can draw any over to anything they've never heard of aside from a short comedy bit? Something like that doesn't help.

Although I suspect it ultimately comes down to everything one does find turns out to be a lesser version of something you've seen before, except better.

I'd like to see someone really throw down something unbelievable and unexpected.

Maybe I'll take the chance to do that... or take a shot at it. Trying to work out my creative muscles.

I consider trying to pursue what it would do to make cartoons... like finding people more talented than me, but Me moviemaker and part of that joy for me is in the standing and doing and watching it happen, so maybe it's for the best.

I don't know. Now, I'm just going to try to stop thinking about it and just watch The Killing Machine by Dolph Lundgren...

Right now it's time to...

2011-04-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

I was at this show. I reviewed it, or rather blissed out over it, in Go See DKT/MC5!

This performance with Chris Ballew of The Presidents of the United States of America and Mark Arm of Mudhoney is a blast.

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Earwigs

2011-04-02T12:00:00.003-05:00

The Hobo with a Shotgun Trailer Contest Finalists are up.

I'm totally behind this one, Earwigs by Bruce LeGrow. Van Gore by Keith Hodder is leading at this writing, and I'll note it's my second favorite, as it goes.

Frankly, I'm a little underwhelmed by the subject matter of most. They seem a little too overtly jokey to me. They also, and this could be the judges bias, represent too obvious and limited a scope of subject matter.

I supposed it's tough when one is posting the video on YouTube, but it seems like there's too much emphasis on sex content all around, while none at all represent a sex movie at all. There's no Joe Sarno or Russ Meyer or a genre bender like Jess Franco - I think making a fake "Jess Franco" type trailer would be a hoot! - or even a trashy T&A comedy.

So, I confess that Earwigs partly stands out for not looking like the exact same type of movie we've already seen a dozen fake trailers for already. And, along with Van Gore, stands out for being believable that there could be a real movie behind it.

I suspect even in a more imaginative bunch, I could imagine Earwigs standing out, but I'll say it stands out all the more for having done a type of movie that didn't feel well covered at the time of Grindhouse.

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Ichi

2011-03-26T16:15:00.004-05:00

I never really heard any buzz about Ichi by Fumihiko Sori. I'm not sure if that's because I haven't had my ear to the ground enough or because it hasn't gotten enough attention.

It's a remake cum sequel to Zatoichi, much as John Singleton's Shaft is to Shaft by Gordon Parks. It tells the story of a blind woman named Ichi, played by Haruka Ayase, who is seeking out her mentor, and possible father, who we learn is the Ichi of the Zatoichi movies.

We meet her wandering after she has been cast out from her community, among other goze, blind women who sang in Japan during the Edo period. She meets up with Fujihira Toma, played by Nakamura Shidō, a samurai, whose emotional disability causes him more difficulty than her visual disability causes her.

The movie follows a fairly tried and true format, but it works beautifully. The acting and directing are first class, so it works. It's a great format. The original series is among the most successful series in Japanese history, which is why movies such as this, as well as Blindman by Ferdinando Baldi, Blind Fury by Phillip Noyce, Zatoichi by "Beat" Takeshi and Zatoichi: The Last by Junji Sakamoto, continue to revive it.

And, frankly, it usually works. I'd love to see something cause a full-scale revival series, and I'd be quite happy if they follow up from Ichi, if they could maintain something of its mood and quality.

UPDATE: If you're looking for a more in depth review, I can't recommend Ichi by Peter Nellhaus enough. It really captures a lot of the benefits I missed, "Even if Ichi turns out to be a one shot rather than a franchise, it is worth seeing for the way Sori and Ayase create a female action hero who does not cater to a juvenile male audience, but instead maintains dignity even in the worse situations."

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Moviemaking

2011-03-15T22:00:00.004-05:00

I've said Me moviemaker, and I stand by it.

It's taken me a long time to recover from Lakeside, or at least the events surrounding it. I'm certainly sorry my co-conspirators on that bastard stepchild for my (extensive) role in its (over-)extended post-production time. At this point, there are any number of reasons for it's continuing, from a failure of confidence, borne of that (over-)extended process and those same surrounding events.

As I said in Trailer-a-no-go, with Conan on the final stretch to be born, it's not quite time to jump on the horse again.

But I'm thankful to The Hobo with a Shotgun Trailer Contest for coming close to inspiring me.

I think the time has come to look closely at the horse and consider it.

As I suggested, I think it's time to work out some quick and dirty projects. Kim has an idea for a humorous YouTube movie or perhaps a series of them. I'm stewing on something similar... although my tendencies may make them not quite YouTube material...

It's nice to think about just grabbing on and seeing what I can do in short bursts.

And perhaps even get back enough confidence, and maybe experience, I need to finally do everything that needs to be done to get "Lakeside" finished, too.

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Trailer-a-no-go

2011-03-15T18:45:00.002-05:00

With all that going on in our lives, and Kim getting increasingly tired, we've decided it's probably not the time to try to dedicate all of our free time on The Hobo with a Shotgun Trailer Contest, although I'll be following it like any good trashy movie lovin' dork.

But it has reminded me that this kind of creativity is something I've been neglecting, and perhaps getting a quick and dirty thing or two done just to get things going is probably a good idea for... soon.

So, on to pondering what a good quick and dirty project for... soon might be.

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The Hobo with a Shotgun trailer contest

2011-03-14T19:45:00.002-05:00

The Hobo with a Shotgun Trailer Contest is now live.

The deadline is 3/31/11. That's about two weeks away.

I'm considering doing it, but that's a lot to figure out in a very short period of time. Kim wants me to do it, but I'm not sure if I have enough time to put something together that's worth competing with, especially since so many other moviemakin' folks are prepared to go, DV Rebel style.

First, however, I try to rest.

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Zu

2011-03-10T23:00:00.002-06:00

I went through a period a couple of years back where I burned through a ton of movies by Tsui Hark. It was during a particularly difficult time for me, so it was only covered briefly here, in Hong Kong desire.

I wish I'd written more, especially since The Blade, Tsui's take on The One-Armed Swordsman, quickly found its way among my favorite movies ever made.

During that time, I watched the recent Zu Warriors, which I liked a lot, but for some reason, despite my best intentions, never got around to seeing the earlier Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain.

I can't believe it took me this long. The movie is like somewhere between a Road to... movie and Ray Harryhausen movie, except better, because it has also has Kung Fu!

Apparently, according to sources such as the excellent Big Trouble on the Magic Mountain by Ethan de Seife, Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain was even an influence on John Carpenter in making Big Trouble in Little China, although not being hamstrung by Hollywood, I think the Tsui movie is better, if only because of it's zealous and seemingly unhampered imagination, but if nothing else, it should give American cult movie fans a basis of understanding what this movie is.

I could review the plot, but nothing about the plot will tell you much about this.

I found myself watching and having a rare moment of wishing an Asian movie had an English dubbed track, because that would mean all the sooner I could share this with Conan. Probably just as well, perhaps a child who can't read well enough to follow subtitles isn't ready to watch a man build a demon out of human skulls with his eyebrows.

All I know is that for me, this was one great big ball of terrific.

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Underland

2011-03-07T21:45:00.003-06:00

So, Tim Burton, eh?

Well, yeah...

He feels close to reaching half his career sucking as bad as the first half was delightful.

I know it's more complicated than that. Beetlejuice is pretty wonky as a whole and The Corpse Bride is a perspective shift away from being magnificent, as the two examples that leap out at me personally.

So, um, Alice in Wonderland?

I'm fascinated at how bleak and depressing it is. It's almost like a post-apocalyptic vision of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which is intriguing to me in principle.

The trouble is that it matches that with a dull humorlessness that could be appropriate to the milieu, but doesn't match the kind of meandering storytelling method, which seems the only thing particularly like Lewis Carroll, ignoring the fact that the wit and mirth are what makes Carroll's meandering worthwhile.

Here Carroll's "Wonderland" is rebranded "Underland", apparently to make it more adult or at least one more befitting this apocalyptic vision. Unfortunately, it only proves Burton's lack of natural wit.

I doubt from all evidence that Burton is any kind of Carroll fan. I imagine someone at Disney has the bright idea "Lewis Carroll weird/Tim Burton weird, let's bring 'em together."

Certainly nothing in Burton's previous work shows any hint of a Carroll influence, and here he shows more disdain than affection for the source material, twisting it about to no particular use. It's no better as a Burton movie than it is a Carroll adaptation, which leaves it no good at anything at all.

Supposedly Burton has a stop-motion adaptation of The Addams Family coming up. I'm holding the last of my hope for Burton as a "living" moviemaker on this one. He has shown an affinity for Charles Addams and his much more visual than literary sense of humor. It's also apparently a return to working with Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, who also wrote Ed Wood, which I think remains easily Burton's best movie.

I can't imagine that if he fails with the deck stacked that far in his favor that much will make me believe he'll ever recover from this slump.

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Drive angry

2011-03-06T20:45:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure what to say about Drive Angry.

It's so much more compelling than so many other recent attempts at faux drive-in fare, such as Bitch Slap and Hell Ride.

It certainly is all the things it should be, including single-mindedly simple, something a lot of people complained Machete missed in capturing that flavor.

But somehow it lacked much sense of surprise. I mean, aside from a couple of moments that were like "Oh, they really are going to take it there. Interesting." kind of surprises, but nothing I didn't see coming.

On the other hand, I'm not sure it was trying for that. It may have been trying to be the kind of bullet train to its destination kind of movie that doesn't make room for plot twists or unexpected twists.

I totally admire its energy and am thrilled to see more movies committed to going all out for its thrill ride, so I'm definitely feeling positive about it.

And it certainly was a fun way to spend 100 minutes of my life.

I'm just not sure that makes it good - even good trash - even if I'm sure it's not bad.

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Yep, it's that time

2011-03-02T00:00:00.003-06:00

The 25th birthday of Robert Iler, the 30th of Bryce Dallas Howard, the 43rd for Daniel Craig, the 49th birthday of Jon Bon Jovi, the 56th of Dale Bozzio and Jay Osmond, the 59th of Mark Evanier and Laraine Newman, the 62nd for Eddie Money and Gates McFadden and the 68th for Peter Straub, the 69th of Lou Reed and John Irving, the 70th of Jon Finch and the 80th of Mikhail Gorbachev and Tom Wolfe.

It also would have been the 61st for Karen Carpenter, the 63rd for Rory Gallagher, the 92nd for Jennifer Jones, the 94th for Desi Arnaz, the 106th for Theodor Geisel/Dr. Seuss, the 110th for Kurt Weill, the 125th for Willis O'Brien and the 218th for Sam Houston.

It's also the, gulp, 40th for your friend and humble narrator.

Tarantino goes west

2011-02-28T22:15:00.002-06:00

I know not to trust rumors about upcoming Quentin Tarantino projects, not even if they come directly out Tarantino's mouth. Perhaps especially if they come directly out of Tarantino's mouth.

There have been many projects that have come and gone through rumor, most originating from some time Tarantino thought out loud in some interview or another.

A western has long been on the slate of things discussed as possible, whether an adaptation of Forty Lashes Less One by Elmore Leonard or a tribute to the Spaghetti Western, although the latter seemed potentially sated by Kill Bill, vol. 2.

However the rumor that ends up being this story, Quentin Tarantino’s Planning a Spaghetti Western With Christoph Waltz by Nathan Adams, ran wild today.

It began with the proper skepticism. Perhaps it's a project that originates with Franco Nero or perhaps Enzo G. Catellari that Tarantino is helping to foster in some way and.or perhaps he's doing a cameo, such as in Sukiyaki Western Django by Takashi Miike.

But then voices started growing firmer and more confident that this the next Quentin Tarantino movie, and tribute to Sergio Leone at that.

Was it just the rumor building up on itself or is this a real story breaking?

Any of those possibilities sounds intriguing, but somehow Tarantino seriously going to the west... especially the Spaghetti West... is too intriguing not to hope for.

I guess the days to come will tell.

Eventually.

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Mercenary

2011-02-27T15:00:00.003-06:00

Last night was Sergio Corbucci 1968 night, featuring The Mercenary (aka A Professional Gun), which I'd not seen before, and The Great Silence, which is, in my opinion, among the greatest movies ever made.

There is, many claim, a thematic trilogy that concludes with The Mercenary and Compañeros. Wikipedia opens it with The Great Silence and in his interview on the Compañeros DVD, Franco Nero begins it with Django. I can honestly see the arguments for either.

I'm tempted to call it a tetralogy or even to call The Mercenary and Compañeros essentially the same part and blend them together as one concluding statement. This is not a wild statement, as they share far too many story and thematic points to be considered otherwise.

Nero and Jack Palance play essentially the same role in both. Nero's roles are respectively known as "The Polack" and "The Swede", although they sound like "The Wop" and "The Italian" respectively. The roles played by Giovanna Ralli and Iris Berben also correlate.

As direct comparisons, go, I think Nero is more interesting in The Mercenary, he not only has an awesome mustache, but he's given a bit more to chew on with the character. Palance is given more to chew on in Compañeros as falcon loving, pot smoking psycho. I think Berben may have more charisma, but Ralli's Columba is a more fully realized character.

That leaves the comparison down to Tony Musante, who does a fine job, and Tomás Milián, who is one of my favorite performers of all time, in what I think is what is one of his most delightful performances.

As such, I give the edge to Compañeros, although perhaps because I saw it first, but they are both very entertaining movies, and interesting companions to one another.

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Good movies

2011-02-26T22:45:00.001-06:00

It's goddamn Oscar weekend, so I guess it's as good a time as any to bring this up.

I don't give a crap about "good movies".

I don't know what that makes me exactly. I'm a "movie guy", so everyone assumes I do. But I'll tell you, there were 10 movies nominated for Best Picture this year. I've seen two of them, True Grit and Toy Story 3, and had the slightest interest in one other, The Fighter.

That's it.

Couldn't give a fuck about the others!

I'm sure there's one or two others that I might enjoy if I got around to watching them. I just don't know which one's and frankly the risk that most of them will be what I expect them to be, which I'm sure the majority are, just doesn't make it worth it to me.

I read Clash of the Cults - Nolan and Fincher by Greg Ferrara. It's a great article, and having seen something over half the movies by each of the directors, I agree with a lot of what he say. In fact, I agree with everything I'm qualified to have an opinion on.

Of course, most of it focuses on Inception and The Social Network, so I have no ability to express an opinion on a substantial amount of it, and you know what? I have no interest in changing that.

Other people enjoyed them, and I'm glad. I don't begrudge anyone their enjoyment, and yet it's nearly impossible to express that in a way that doesn't sound like I'm judging them for seeing them and/or enjoying them.

I just don't have any interest in them.

I've seen Great Movies from throughout the generations of moviemakers, and I'm interested in seeing new things that have, in my mind, the possibility of achieving that. But if we're just talking about the next Good Movie that will win the next Oscar, I don't care. I'm glad it entertained and/or moved you. That's frickin' awesome.

Me, I'll go ahead and watch Drive Angry until the next David Lynch movie comes out. If that makes me the kind of pretentious nitwit I'd bitch about if I were someone else, then I guess that's life.

I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.

Kirby

2011-02-25T23:15:00.001-06:00

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The most important day of the year!

2011-02-24T00:00:00.004-06:00

It's the 27th birthday of my love, my best friend, my fiancée, the love of my life and the mother of my son-to-be.

It's been a crazy, awesome rollercoaster of a year, and I'm glad I've had Kim with me through the highs and lows. She's my joy and my rock. I'm looking forward to having her with me for the rest of her birthdays.

I hope it's a good day. I know it's an exciting, exciting year ahead and I'm glad I have someone so wonderful to spend it with.

Happy birthday, may love. Thanks for making me the luckiest man on Earth!

I'm tired of how self-involved the world is, he blogged

2011-02-21T22:30:00.000-06:00

It's not just Shame on you, Texas! that has me frustrated.

I'm tired of so much.

Maybe Greg Ferrara and Anger Week is getting to me, or maybe there's just something raging through the Internet that's affecting us both.

I had a bunch of thoughts on blogging and what I wanted from this blog and what I think of the so-called blogosphere as a whole, but I feel too discouraged to even get into it.

The self-involvement of everyone out there and the amount of family members and their insensitivity and friends and their schadenfreude and everyone and their desire to convincing themselves and those around them that they're right, instead of actually being right.

And certainly none of that has any place for humility and caring for those they supposedly care for and should be supporting.

Sometimes the world is just too goddamn ugly.

Discouraging.

Shame on you, Texas!

2011-02-21T21:30:00.001-06:00

When I first moved to Texas, my friend Jo made it very clear to me on more than one occasion that my lazy west coast manners weren't going to cut here. I've consistently made every effort to live up to that expectation.

But I have to say, Texas has not lived up to it.

The folks back home would be shocked how often not one single healthy able bodied person will offer their seat on the bus to the obviously pregnant Kimberly Rae. Their jaws would fall to the floor at the complete and utter lack of this most basic act of etiquette, not to mention decency.

CapMetro

2011-02-20T21:00:00.001-06:00

I apologize to some. This will be one of those rants that's of interest to few of my general readers, I suspect.

I don't drive.

I don't like it.

I'm not very good at it.

Mind you, I have higher standards for what "very good" is for me than a lot of other people have for themselves, which, I promise, is more trouble than it's worth. I'm probably about as good as half the people out there driving.

Of course, I think about half the people out there driving are being irresponsible in doing so. If we didn't have such a cultural dependence on driving and a social bias against not driving, I think everyone would be safer.

And growing up in Seattle with King County Metro, that was never a major issue in my life. Sure, it created minor inconveniences from time to time, but overall I was still happier with it.

Because, as I said, I hate driving.

And moving to Austin, and being new to town and only having so many places I needed to go, CapMetro was just great. It's way, way cheaper and, in general, runs along the major areas and works fine.

Then, the only argument I had against it was it's ludicrous, and often tedious, tendency to stop at every block going through downtown.

But I have to say that in the last months since new president and CEO Linda Watson took over, all of the things that were occasional annoyances before have become nearly intolerable.

Buses run later or even, a remarkable amount of the time, early. Routes are moved around, which seemed potentially beneficial at times, but mostly has just made things less useful.

The only thing better is that they have closed off a couple of stops downtown, which has annoyed lazy bastards more actively than it has pleased the rest of us.

And worst of all, the customer service has gone from mildly inadequate to belligerently offensive. In the last 9 months, I haven't had a single call to CapMetro that wasn't obnoxious and worthless.

As a person who has worked customer service for decades, talking to CapMetro Customer Service is embarrassing. I have never, ever spoken to a customer service center that was more stressful and less helpful in my whole life. And obviously it's not the only customer service I've spoken to that was less than I'd expect of myself.

But if I contact them, they don't even make an attempt to feign empathy, even when something goes wrong like a bus coming absurdly early or driving right past customers.

And on days like this, when the Austin Marathon takes up the downtown streets, their incompetence is shown off. Mind you, given the task of explaining why they're re-routing buses so far away from their regular routes that they no longer even pretending that they serve the needs of transit customers and only waste gasoline and labor can't be easy, but CapMetro customer service happily provides answers without any consideration for its accuracy or value to person on the other end. Each agent providing a completely different story, none even related to what's true and none matching the last.

It would have been more useful to call a stopped clock.

Mind you, I can't wholly blame Watson. She inherited the job of making MetroRail into something workable or profitable, which is kind of like being hired to be Sisyphus.

MetroRail is one those transit projects where a city spends a ridiculous amount of money to build a tiny fraction of the transit system that would be helpful and then everyone involved tries to figure out why only a tiny fraction of people use this ridiculously useless system.

And now those of us who use the once useful transit system are asked to pay for them to flush more money into the pre-failed one, with bus rates going up in order to subsidize lower rail rates, in order to try to attract more people to ride a rail system that frankly just isn't very useful to the majority of Austinites, and lower rates don't come close to addressing that.

Frankly, as noted in Happy Birthday, Kim!, I owe CapMetro at lot, but I'm coming to the end of my patience.

For the Love of Film (Noir): Road House

2011-02-20T16:00:00.001-06:00

When deciding what to write for For the Love of Film (Noir) Blogathon and Fundraiser, hosted by Ferdy on Film and Self-Styled Siren, I had a hard time deciding what to write about.

There are any of a number of great classic films noir that are among my favorite movies of all time.

There are also a number of my favorite movies that aren't traditionally considered noir that could be interesting to explore from that perspective.

Ultimately, what seemed the most like what I wanted to do was simply explore a noir movie that I hadn't seen before.

For this, I chose Road House by Jean Negulesco, movie I've meant to see forever, and have no good excuse for not having gotten to.

The movie stars Cornel Wilde, Richard Widmark, Celeste Holm and centers around the incomparable Ida Lupino.

Widmark plays Jefferson T. "Jefty" Robbins, who runs the titular road house, Jefty's. He brings Lupino's Lily in as an attraction at the road house, after a trip to Chicago.

I have to note here that, while Widmark's Jefty is not quite the much discussed figure of mystery Orson Welles's Harry Lime in The Third Man, but his name is used a lot, especially when he's offscreen, and I hope I'm not the only modern viewer distracted with the thought "Jeffty is Five, Jeffty is always five." every time his name is spoken.

The first half of the movie is a pretty straight '40s style melodrama, only the setting and bits of the kind of clever banter giving any hint of its reputation as a film noir. However it's just that slow burn that allows the twists and turns of the second half of the movie to resonate.

In some ways, it's the little potboilers like this that I love so much in noir. There's a casualness, a pure professionalism to every aspect of the work, as well as an unstudied cynicism that most imitators try to match with a concerted cynicism.

So the whole of "forgotten" noir is often more interesting than any of the individual movies. Many, and I'd include Road House among these, are better understood as part of that whole. I can't say outside that understanding I'd have seen this movie as more than a quirky melodrama with some fantastic performances and crackling dialogue, although that should certainly be more than enough for an evening's enjoyment.

As noted, this post is a part of the For the Love of Film (Noir) Blogathon and Fundraiser, hosted by Ferdy on Film and Self-Styled Siren, for the Film Noir Foundation to help preserve our film heritage. Please make your donation by clicking on the link below. Thank you.

Prelude to noir

2011-02-16T22:45:00.005-06:00

I'm not prepared for an official post for the For the Love of Film (Noir) Blogathon and Fundraiser, hosted by Ferdy on Film and Self-Styled Siren, but it does have me thinking. Film noir one of my favorite genres... or subgenres or eras or moods or whatever you think it is... and yet I always feel inadequate to the task of writing about it.

"Film Noir is not a genre..." by Greg Ferrara explores some ideas of what film noir is by analyzing the seminal essay Notes on Film Noir by Paul Schrader.

Film noir always seems a bit tough to put one's finger one. It tends to be one of those "know it when you see it" things, but then, like most such things, not all eyes agree.

Two terms seem to come up time and again, though, "Post-war" and "cynicism", often as not in conjunction with one another. The question is whether people really grasp what Post-war cynicism is the most important, though.

I got a copy of The Mammoth Book of Best Crime Comics for Valentine's Day - because I have the best Valentine ever! - and I've been reading it on the bus to and from work. Among other things, I've been reading Agent X-9 by Dashiell Hammett and Alex Raymond, which helped fuel my thinking.

Generally, people using that term seem to mean World War II or to think they do.

While film noir can be tied to any of a number of influences, the two most basic building blocks are clearly Hardboiled literature and German Expressionism. In fact, it would be impossible, no matter what other influences one ignored, to adapt a Hardboiled story in the style of German Expressionism without creating something that everyone would understand as film noir.

So it seems certain that the most important war that film noir grows from remains World War I.

It's arguable that the post-WWII period even brought about the end of film noir, which had slowed significantly in its growth as a genre by 1949. I'm not sure how that understanding informs my reading of film noir, but it's interesting to consider.

Best/worst

2011-02-16T19:45:00.003-06:00

I wrote some rather random thoughts on Troll 2 in my post Good/bad.

I expressed my ambivalence toward the idea of Best Worst Movie explaining why Troll 2 is what it is.

For what it's worth, it makes no attempt to do so whatsoever.

It also makes no attempt whatsoever to come to any understanding why the movie connects with audiences.

I'm not sure Best Worst Movie director/Troll 2 star Michael Paul Stephenson was particularly interested in the subject. He certainly shows no interest in separating the usual gang of cynical hipsters who just enjoy laughing at other people's failures and the fans who have apparently found some strange personal connection to this movie, or in coming to any understanding at all of what that connection might be.

Stephenson clearly fell in love with George Hardy, the actor who played his father in the movie, as a subject, and more than half the movie focuses on him as a subject. He's an interesting subject and a movie built around him as a subject would be remarkably interesting.

Unfortunately, Best Worst Movie isn't able to frame itself around him as a subject, so even that feels rather formless.

In The Best Worst Movie Ever Made Of All Time by Marty McKee, he says, "I couldn’t decide whether Best Worst Movie was crazy, depressing, or hilarious."

I can't either. I was potentially interested in the movie of the phenomenon of Troll 2... and still would be.

The George Hardy movie could certainly be interesting.

Surprisingly, though, the movie I really wish I could see is the movie about the various ancillary players in the story. There was a lot of sadness in there, but somehow those moments were the most genuine of the movie, and while it would have been a more difficult to watch, it probably would have offered more.

In this context, the depressing elements already weigh too heavy on this movie to accept it as a kind of celebration of a weird little cult movie, but not enough to make it feel particularly worthwhile.

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For the Love of Film (Noir) Blogathon and Fundraiser

2011-02-15T22:45:00.005-06:00

For the Love of Film (Noir) Blogathon and Fundraiser, hosted by Ferdy on Film and Self-Styled Siren is on!

I'm very excited even if I've been able to read a fraction of the posts for this fantastic looking blog-a-thon. This may give me reading material for months to come.

I have my subject picked out and will get a post up this week.

For now, here's this great trailer by Greg Ferrara hyping this event.

... and Legendre

2011-02-06T20:00:00.001-06:00

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Legendry

2011-02-06T13:00:00.004-06:00

I am Legend, the classic horror/sci-fi novel by Richard Matheson, is one of my favorite books. It's just such a fascinating, rich human story.

Kimberly Rae and I watched The Last Man on Earth the other night, which remains the truest adaptation of the novel, although Vincent Price, who I love, is hopelessly miscast, despite a rather valiant effort at performing with a more hard-boiled persona than he usually takes on.

I was pleased to read this Interview with Richard Matheson on the subject of adapting it. He suggests Jack Palance as having been a good choice for the protagonist Robert Neville.

(Apparently, Palance would have gotten a lot more work if authors cast their own novels, as he was also Donald E. Westlake's choice to play Parker.)

When the recent adaptation, that became I am Legend by Francis Lawrence starring Will Smith, was being developed, I had favored Kurt Russell as my choice for Neville. I got a bit of flack from some other fans of the novel for this, so I was pleased that he was also Matheson's pick out of the rumored choices.

In discussing my various concerns with the structure as storytelling and as adaptation, I noted that I was somewhat frustrated with the ending, which tries to action up the ending, leaving Price's acting to cover a lot of the territory covered at the end of the novel.

Craig Blamer, who wrote I am Legend, which remains one of my favorite pieces discussing the novel and its relationship to movie adaption, noted that Matheson himself had made the ending more cheerful in the screenplay he worked on for Hammer Films, that was eventually re-written and made into The Last Man on Earth with Matheson deferring his credit to the pseudonym Logan Swanson.

I still haven't read that screenplay, although I note that it's now available in the affordable edition Visions Deferred: Richard Matheson's Censored I am Legend Screenplay and not just the amazing looking but prohibitively priced Bloodlines: Richard Matheson's Dracula, I am Legend And Other Vampire Stories. I may have to catch up on that soon.

In looking into this, I found this short movie of the story.

It's an interesting attempt to capture the ending, but frankly I don't find its changes particularly more satisfying than those in The Last Man on Earth, both of them clearly get the ending, but fall short of the emotional impact of it.

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Cruising toward your doom

2011-02-03T19:00:00.003-06:00

Tom Cruise Eyeing At the Mountains of Madness? Seriously?

Wow! Guillermo del Toro and James Cameron actually did find a way to make me not interested in a big budget "R" rated Lovecraft adaptation. Kudos!

I could get over the fact that I swore off Tom Cruise movies a long time ago for the right project. Really, I could.

But if you held a contest to find the person least like a Lovecraft character, Tom Cruise could win without even trying.

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Deputy

2011-02-02T18:15:00.001-06:00

I love Victor Gischler, so I have really no idea why it took me so long to reading The Deputy... Ok, part of it was money...

... but there was something else.

No, it wasn't that dull cover, which could as easily be the cover to nearly anything that ever was - or even could be - called "The Deputy" with nearly equal effectiveness.

I think a lot of it was fear of it. Damn Gischler - picture me saying it like Jerry Seinfeld says "Newman" - keeps writing things that are just a little too close to things I'm working on.

And there's where I should have relaxed.

Because while we clearly like similar pitches, he always takes them off in directions I would never have dreamed of.

So his "white trash western" goes off to dozens of unexpected and delightful directions, in a rip-roaring read front to finish. In fact, by the end, it's gone so far off course of anything I'd have written, I forgot I'd been worried about that in the first place.

I can only wish I could come up with a moment like "Damn, Roy. What the fuck?"

And you'll just have to pick up a copy and give it read to understand why.

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Fuck Ferris!

2011-01-31T22:15:00.001-06:00

Why do people like Ferris Bueller?

I'm not asking why people like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. That's a discussion for another day.

I want to know why people like - or think they like - Ferris Bueller, the character.

There's some kind of insidious genius to the film in that it seems to convince people that the would be, could be, should be Ferris.

But really, most of us are Jeanies and Mr. Rooneys, and that's not a bad thing. We're the ones who actually make the world run.

Ferris is a worthless piece of crap. He's that friendly guy who sits next to you doesn't do his work or does it half-ass and makes way too big a deal of his smallest triumphs while the decent people sit quietly and do what needs to get done. He gets promotions or at least avoids getting fired by glad-handing everyone around him with his alleged charms.

I think people thinking they would be, could be, should be Ferris Bueller is a small part, but an intriguingly symbolic one, of what's wrong in this country today. There's not sense of community. It's all self-involved "look at me and how cute it is that I have no basic work ethic or interest in my community as a whole!" and not enough doing what needs to be done.

Fuck Ferris!